Maybe I can't have normal youth

"Is it better?" Miki asked me after sitting on the bench for a long time.

The temperature of the marble chair is just right, a bit cool, so I can calm down well.My nausea finally disappeared.

"Miki, why are you like the Red Queen this time?"

It can't be because the image inventory in my mind has been used up, right?I don't believe that my brain is so poor.

"Oh, this. Since you asked, let me talk to you first. I wanted to wait until I finished talking about the business before I talked to you. I wanted to remind you not to forget to go and be the Red Queen. Discuss about the banquet."

"Banquet?" I remember that Miki mentioned this last time on Red Heart Island.

"Yeah, it's because I didn't have a good discussion with you last time. I have been thinking about it these days."

"Then you can just say no to me now?"

"Oh no, I understand." I figured it out when I blurted out the last sentence.

Miki's memory in the subconscious hall cannot be brought out, so a simple order can become so complicated.

"All right. But Miki, why are you here? Or why did I come to my subconscious temple again? What is the business you want to talk about?" I felt a little puzzled.

Not to mention this subconscious temple has become such a strange look in my eyes.The last time I came here, it was because my spirit almost collapsed due to Siqing.

What about this time?You never came here for no reason, right?Although I really can't control it.

"I'm here, of course it's because you need me." Miki, with the face of the Red Queen, smiled at me and couldn't help but make me play.

"Huh? I think I'm okay lately."

"Xiao Bai, do you really think everything is still normal?" Miki asked rhetorically.

"Emm, if I really have to say something abnormal, it must be my dream. I have dreamed of some weird things every day and every day. Even if there are some experiences, it feels normal, but after all It seems very different from myself."

Miki nodded.

I continued to recall: "But I am the protagonist of those dreams again. At first I thought it might be reading some experience of someone around me again... But..."

I frowned: "From the Zichen incident, I should be a bystander. Now, every time I am the protagonist, I am like a person who really lives in that world. Generally, one can clearly feel thoughts and emotions, as well as past experiences."

"But you actually find it strange, right?" Miki said.

"Yes, but shouldn't dreams be absurd?"

"But when the shark chased you and the Internet celebrity restaurant, did you feel strange after you woke up?"

"Emm, that's not the case. Although it was also an overhead experience, I felt very natural at the time."

"That's the problem!" Miki is very happy that I can feel this clearly.

"You... it's so easy to be hacked."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Perhaps because you can accept almost all opinions. At the same time, you are very good at empathy." Miki is indeed my subconscious clone, she knows me better than anyone else."So some of the experiences of others can actually easily disturb you."

"It's not that you go to read the experiences of others, but that you are easily disturbed by the other person. If you compare certain experiences of each person to a cold virus, then Xiaobai is the one most vulnerable to infection in the crowd, and vulnerable The degree is much better than ordinary people."

"You keep an open attitude to this world, so there is no barrier outside of you." Miki emphasized the "outside". Sure enough, the deepest part of my heart, which is unwavering about everything, could not hide from her .

"That's why." Miki continued to analyze, "The fragments you have recently experienced are actually some of the experiences of other people unintentionally and indirectly. That's why you feel strange after you wake up. This is a foreign body of your body. The most essential kind of rejection."

"But I'm not a bystander, and some things can't be real experiences at all!"

For example, empty cities, happy pills overdrawn, people whose presence is low enough to be comparable to transparent people...

"Yes, I know all of these. And I know why."

"why?"

"Because your broken dream is likely to come from a friend who is not familiar with you, or even from a passerby who passed by. So you can only read a small part, but not go deep. Then you! "Miki poked my head, "I will add to the loopholes in this experience according to my own understanding."

"Huh? So that's why some become so weird?"

My brain is too big!

"I think sometimes you may just retain all the emotions and attitudes of the other person. Then, based on these, you have shaped similar but extremely absurd stories."

Miki smiled at me: "So Xiaobai, do you understand? Call me the reason for coming this time."

"It's to sort out all this with me, right?"

Miki continued to smile and shook his head, and said, "It's to let you find the real you."

"Huh?" Which one is this?

"You, you are about to be overwhelmed by these fragments!" Miki seemed to be anxious and helpless, "I know it is absolutely impossible for you to change some thoughts and erect a wall against the world on the surface. After all, you have When it comes to time, it will deliberately blur the differences between people, right?"

"You can be the one who treats everything equally, but you can't lose your true self!" Miki poked my heart with an index finger.

"When you describe to me what the church looks like in your eyes now, I have already realized the problem: if you let yourself go, you will be eroded by the world without a complete self!" Miki increased his tone and changed Very serious.

"So, Xiaobai, go find the real you. You can accept them all, but you must not get lost. What is your attitude towards life? Why do you exist in this world? What is success for you? And you, What kind of life do you want?" Every word and every sentence of her seemed to hit my heart.

"Only in this way can you put this church together again." Miki got up from the chair and stretched out his left hand to me again. "It's almost time, and it's time to go back."

Miki pulled me up from the bench and led me to the wooden door.

"By the way, Miki, ask a digression. What is the role of these two doors?" The experience of pushing and pulling the milky white door just now but not moving is still vivid.

"What, didn't you know? The gate over there can only be entered, and if you want to get out from here, you can only use this wooden door."

"But... how did you come here?" I remember that Miki, who looked like a magician classmate, came towards me from the direction of the wooden door last time.

"Me? I only show up in that fence when you need it, just like how I was born. I arrived too early this time, and you came too slowly. I was all on the chair. Asleep." Miki murmured.

It seems that I have developed a mindset, thinking that what comes from that direction is to walk out of the wooden door.

"Then what if I didn't find the wooden door when I first came here?" After all, it was so hidden.

"Then stay trapped here." Miki shrugged disapprovingly.

"Eh!" Don't you think that is a terrible thing!And obviously I didn't walk through the door when I first came here, although I didn't know how to get there anymore.

But wanting to come here is my own territory after all, even if I couldn't find a hidden exit at the time, I shouldn't pit myself out?

"Then have you tried to push the milky white door?" Judging from the fact that the opening direction of the door of the activity room and the door of the bathroom are opposite, the door can definitely be opened in both directions. I can't push, doesn't mean you can't either."

"No, I don't want to try either." Miki's answer was unexpectedly firm.

"Okay, don't let the off-topic cover up the most important thing today." Standing in front of the wooden door, Miki grabbed my shoulders, staring at my black eyes with fiery red eyes, "Remember, think hard, find The answer, don't be swallowed by the world."

"Well, I know! Let's go." I pushed open the wooden door with Miki.