My Alleged Husband

Later, you seemed to forget about my existence, and what do I count for?

Actually, deep down in your heart, you still have my father. When my son and I went to confront your husband, you chose to speak for him. From this, I can clearly see. You genuinely want to live with him, but how do we address the fact that too many difficulties have already arisen between you two? You should be living a happier and more joyful life. Why should you let the unhappiness of the past dictate your future? Xia Jing felt quite uncomfortable when he saw his son and grandson confronting his husband.

"How can you act like this? No matter what, she is your elder. Is it appropriate for you two, father and son, to say such things to your elder? I don’t care what your purpose is or what your reason is, but you cannot say such heartless and callous words to my husband. When I see my husband in such a situation, I feel deeply troubled. She has accompanied me for so many years, and what do your actions even mean?"

Actually, I know that everything you do is for our good, but when you choose to act against us this way repeatedly, the depth of my despair has set in. I can’t accept this kind of life. I have no way to accept my relatives’ constant suspicion.

You should admit your mistakes. Everyone understands that facing suspicion from your family brings a deep sense of helplessness. No matter what you do, your relatives won’t believe you because, in their eyes, you only deceive her. Do you know? Watching you repeatedly say those things and do those actions to me, I feel deeply hurt inside. Yet I choose not to say anything. I can’t let anything disturb my thoughts, interrupt my progress, or halt my steps in life. I must rely on my effort to walk step by step to the end. I want everyone to know that I’m not merely a woman who cries in someone’s arms. I can also reach the pinnacle of my life through my own efforts. Even if my success comes very late, I’m still happy and joyful because it’s a result achieved by my own hands. I don’t need to rely on anyone. That is true success!

I don’t understand what you have been confused about these days, nor do I understand what you discussed and what agreement you’ve reached. You agreed to let me stay in this home, and honestly, I feel anxious deep down. I don’t understand the reason why you made such a concession to me. Walking to today, it hasn’t been easy. But I’ve never given up. I know all the effort I’ve made must be borne by myself. Others won’t take my effort as their motivation. Every time I see others being more successful, more happy than me, my heart feels more anxious and more on the verge of breaking down than anyone else. Why is it that others can reach the peak of their lives, and I cannot? Why can others stand on the top of their careers, smiling happily, while I can only hide alone and cry silently? Why?

When I see many women who only cry sadly in their husband’s arms and aren’t willing to pick themselves up and look forward, much less make efforts for a better tomorrow, I’m actually quite afraid. I don’t want to become like them.

If one day I become that kind of person, I would detest myself, and you would too, right? No one in this household respects that kind of life, despises that kind of woman. Each person in this home only respects those who are willing to work hard to achieve their goals, rather than those who hide behind others repeatedly, only crying and acting spoiled, letting others protect them as if they are a shield. You know better than anyone, that kind of life is not what I want. I live with pride in this lifetime, and therefore I am arrogant. I will never let such things happen to me. If one day those things do approach me, I will avoid them. And if they inevitably happen to me, I will face them calmly, but if that time truly arrives, I might be defeated by these matters and become a broken person."

Zhang Zhentian suddenly realized his wife’s emotions were somewhat off. How could she know so much? Did she know everything about these matters, or did someone close to him set up informants, or did his son or grandson inform her?

"Don’t look at me. I didn’t tell my mother or father about these matters. You should be aware that I have been here the past few days, guarding my wife. We were discussing things together with you here as well. You haven’t seen me leave, so don’t put these matters on my head. Perhaps my mom heard every word while staying by your side?"

"Zhang Zhentian, do you know the happiest thing in my life was meeting a man like you, who truly loves me for so long? You have never despised my background. Time and again, you protect me. Do you know how grateful I am? But gratitude is not love. No matter what you do for me, I cannot let go of my past prejudices against you. I tell myself step by step, as long as I’m happy, as long as you can be happy, I can compromise and stay by your side forever without leaving. But now, I genuinely cannot do it. I’m about to break down. Whatever I do, in your eyes, I’m nothing, just repeating selfless efforts. And in the end, I am merely a silly girl sacrificing everything for others only to be hurt!"

Hearing the words you say, I’m driven to madness, you understand? Again and again, I’ve considered things from your perspective. Why do you suspect me so? Why speak these words behind my back like this? If you’re dissatisfied, you can address it to my face. Tell me, and I’ll change. But I don’t want you to talk about me behind my back. Gossiping behind one’s back is the behavior of a villain. When discussing me behind my back, did it not occur to you that my heart also feels pain, sadness, and misery? We are all adults here, and should take responsibility for our actions!

"I believe you all remember the circumstances of that day clearly and can’t forget them or treat them as if nothing happened. But you say nothing, for perhaps you don’t know how to speak about it. Today, I’m bringing these matters out in the open. I just hope you can reflect on whether everything you’ve ever had is greater than what others possess, and whether you should treasure what you have now rather than comparing yourself to those who possess what you do not?"

Yet when the tears fall, deep down there’s still a severe reluctance.