My Alleged Husband

The wind and rain are all in your heart, but sometimes the joy in your heart is something no one can understand!

"Dad, since you’ve put it this way, then I want to ask you, if you were the one who was kicked out of the house back then, if you were the one who had been shut out for so many years, do you think you would still return to this family? Just because you apologized to me a few times, just because you didn’t know at the time and didn’t understand what I was thinking, does that mean I have to follow your arrangements for everything? I am also a person, I have my own thoughts, my own soul, I know what I’m doing, I don’t need to walk the path that others have arranged for me step by step. Wouldn’t that make me someone else’s puppet? I don’t want to be a puppet, do you understand? If it weren’t for your desire to control my life, to arrange everything for me, how could I have chosen such a way to confront you? If I hadn’t chosen this way to resist you, how could I have been kicked out and shut out for so many years? Do you know how much I’ve longed to return home? You’ve never understood what I wanted because you haven’t even figured out what you want. Over the years, no matter how much I’ve missed you, even shamelessly returning and begging you to let me come back, how did you respond? You cruelly shut me out, speaking heart-piercing words to me. Like you said, if a person’s heart is hurt for too long, it dies. A heartless person, do you think they would feel moved or beat for others? They wouldn’t. Just like me now, my heart, rejected by you again and again, is already dead. I will never be moved by any changes you make, nor will I feel comforted or happy by your warm words. My life has reached this point, all thanks to you. You never thought about what I want. You’ve always imposed what you want on others, always thinking that what you want is what others want. But have you truly understood what others want? Do you know what others think inside? You haven’t tried to understand. You’re always self-righteous, wanting to control others’ lives. Because of this, I’m already disheartened. I won’t return to this home, because I’m afraid, afraid that if I return again, you’ll find a way to control my life. I don’t understand whether you’ve truly changed your mind or what, but I’m afraid you’re using the tactic of self-harm to trick me into coming back so you can continue to control my life. Do you know that?"

𝕗𝐫𝐞𝕖𝕨𝐞𝗯𝚗𝕠𝘃𝐞𝚕.𝐜𝗼𝚖

Old Master Zhang really didn’t expect to hear such words from his son. He really felt every word cut to the heart! This is his own son, how could he say such cruel words to him? Could it be that in his son’s eyes, he, as his biological father, is so insignificant? Has what he wanted really turned into blind greed in his son’s eyes? In reality, he wasn’t like that. He just wanted his son to live a carefree life, to never lack anything his entire life. He himself went from rags to riches, afraid his son would go through the same hardships he did, so he made such decisions. But it seems that in his family’s eyes, he will never be forgiven, because he couldn’t share his hardships with them, and had to bear all difficulties alone. How could he let his beloved family bear the burden with him?

"Zhentian, do you know that every word you said today cuts to my heart! By saying such things today, you are proving that you no longer regard me as your father. I know the past was my fault; I shouldn’t have presumptuously tried to control your life. But so many years have passed, and now I’ve truly understood, not trying to trick you into coming back so I can control your life again. Can’t you trust me this once? I’ve already said you can bring your wife home. If I still wanted to control your life, how could I allow that? I’d only have told you to break up completely, right? I hope you don’t use the mistakes I made back then to doubt every decision I make now. I know maybe in your eyes, my mistakes are unforgivable for a lifetime, but can’t you be forgiving of my past foolishness? Now I understand, you never wanted power or desire; you just wanted the freedom you deserve. You didn’t want me to block your path, so I hope you can come back, return to me, and not say such heart-piercing words to me anymore!"

Old Master Zhang now spoke to his son in a pleading tone, truly at his wits’ end. He couldn’t get his son to let go of his prejudice. He just wanted his son to understand that things weren’t as they seemed. He wasn’t as malicious inside; he just didn’t understand the relationships then. Now he does, and yet his son won’t come back to him even when begged? How could a junior make an elder beg? But Old Master Zhang was using a pleading tone toward his own son. He knew the harm he caused his biological son was perhaps indescribable by words, and he couldn’t personally understand such hurt. But he knew he truly harmed his son’s heart. Perhaps only by letting him fulfill his goals would his son understand that this father truly understood and will not interfere in his life anymore. But when will that day come? Old Master Zhang sometimes doubts whether he will have the chance to wait for that day, the day his son returns home, the day the family reunites, the day he gets to meet his next great-grandchild.

Has the tacit understanding between us disappeared like this?