My Alleged Husband

The universe in the mirror is something we cannot experience, imagine, or feel.

"You hold resentment towards me because I abandoned you all these years. Even if you don’t say it, I know it. There’s no need to pretend to be so magnanimous. I remember clearly what you have done and said. Don’t forget that you are still my son. No matter when, you can never escape this fact. No matter how much you want to deny that I am your biological father, it will never change, because in bloodline, in the world’s recognition, and in law, I am always your father. This is an unchangeable result for a lifetime."

"I must admit, sometimes even though I feel you are an inadequate father, making me uncomfortable, I have never thought of not acknowledging you as my father. I clearly remember every word I have said. I only need to prove to my parents that abandoning me was a mistake, and that’s enough. I never thought of driving my parents out of the house, making them unable to return home for life. I never thought of destroying the relationship between my parents, because everyone hopes to have a happy family. The prerequisite for having a happy family is that my parents have a harmonious relationship and will never divorce. But when you said the word divorce to mom, I knew my long-awaited family harmony was gone because I now have a broken family. The moment my parents abandoned me, my fate was sealed. Even though I have this outcome, I don’t blame others because these things rely on fate. If it is destined for you to be together, you will be together for a lifetime. If it’s destined for your relationship journey to be bumpy, then you won’t have smooth sailing. Many times, as long as there is comfort in your heart, as long as your heart is open and honest, there is nothing that can’t be accomplished. Many times I really can’t understand why you repeatedly hurt mom. Actually, I now understand, maybe in your eyes that was your way of loving her, but in mom’s eyes, it was continuous harm. But you didn’t take that to heart. Different perspectives lead to different outcomes for the same issue. No matter what you say to me today or what you do, I still won’t blame you, because you are my father. Just as you said, the fact that you are my father can never be changed legally or in blood relation. No matter what this father does or says, in my heart you are still my father. Sometimes, when I speak, I might seem disrespectful, but you can’t blame me. When an elder doesn’t respect themselves, always thinking of bullying their son, making others take the blame, do you think such an elder is really deserving of respect? You are my biological father, and I hope that when you act, you can consider my feelings and grandpa’s feelings. You are a scion of a powerful family. How can you do things that bring shame to grandpa? You hurt grandpa so much, but finally, under my persuasion, he came around. He decided to try to persuade you to return home. But you? What was your response to grandpa? You don’t want to come home; you don’t want grandpa to dominate your life. Since he has figured it out, how could he choose to dominate your destiny again because you come home? Sometimes you judge others with narrow-minded intent, though sometimes you aren’t foolish; you just never think things through. You always say what comes to mind, do what you want immediately, never considering whether it is right or not. If you agree with what I said today, please treat my mom well, return to grandpa’s side and accompany him. Don’t let grandpa worry and exhaust himself because of your issues. He can’t handle such turmoil anymore!"

"You asking me to come back now, is this charity from you? Do you think I will rely on your charity to live out the rest of my life? You underestimate me. No matter what, I was a mercenary, I have skills, I have what it takes to be a hitman. You think you and my dad saying good words to me will make me come back to you? You underestimate me. Now, to me, all your good intentions are charity. You just don’t want me to live the life I want outside, so you always find ways to test me and humiliate me, right? Does humiliating me make you feel truly happy inside? I am part of your family. Humiliating me is just humiliating yourselves, isn’t it?"

Zhang Yichen didn’t understand what was on your mind back then. Clearly, grandpa wanted him to return home out of goodwill. Clearly, he genuinely hoped he could live a good life with his biological mother. But why, in his eyes, does he always see it as our family’s charity? Has his heart twisted that much? If it were charity, couldn’t he tell the difference? Clearly, there weren’t such heavy barriers between them, yet it ended up like this. Who is ultimately to blame for all this?

"You’re overthinking it. Grandpa asking you to come home isn’t charity, but he hopes his biological son could be by his side. That comes from a father’s longing for his son. He hopes his son can return to his arms, just like your longing for mom, hoping she could return to your embrace. You miss mom so much; you should understand grandpa’s efforts. Why do you say such things about grandpa? Saying such things about him is unbearable. If you think us asking you to return home is charity, then come back uprightly. Don’t return with such an unmanly attitude!"

Charity? Zhang Yichen really couldn’t understand why his father would see grandpa’s love as charity. What could be his mind’s state viewing grandpa’s longing for him? This really baffled him, leaving him wondering why.

We remain immersed in our worlds, forgetting that there is happiness deep within our hearts.