My Feelings Can Wait

Only a few seconds after the video request, Jing Xiu accepted it, as if she had been waiting.

In the video, Jing Xun, with her hair scattered, wearing pajamas, sitting leaning against the bed, looks like she is ready to rest after taking a shower.

She stared at the camera, her expression was calm, halo, and even a little gentle.Ji Yooyan's heart was nervous, and strangely settled under her gaze.

"Axun, did I influence you to rest?" Ji Youyan said softly.

"No." Jing Xiu said lightly.

Ji Yuyan licked his lips and said, "My dad woke up during the call in the afternoon, so I didn't have time to answer the question you asked me. I'm afraid that my explanation will deepen your misunderstanding."

"I know." Jing Xiu couldn't hear his emotions. "How is uncle?"

"It's okay now." Ji Youyan hesitated for a few seconds and said from the bottom of his heart: "Axun, frankly speaking, I still mind you investigating me privately. However, I really appreciate you. Thank you for your prompt notification. I. I can’t imagine how much I would blame myself and how unbearable I would be if I didn’t know about it for a long time without you.”

Jing Xiu's eyelashes trembled, "Take it my merits to redeem me."

"It's not that serious." Ji Yuyan reflexively maintained for Jing Xiu.She reflected on herself, "I know that it is my fault in the final analysis. If I can take the initiative, you don't have to be so embarrassed."

"No matter what the motive is, I admit that I didn't give you enough respect for this matter." Jingxuan is not a person who refuses to admit his mistakes.

Her thoughtfulness made Ji Yuyan's nose sore."Okay, we are all wrong in this matter, we are even, will you turn this page?"

Jing Xiu looked at her without speaking.

Ji Yooyan reacted to Jing Xiu's misunderstanding by what he said, and hurriedly explained, "A Xiu, what I said was right or wrong turning the page."

She cut into the focus of this video call: "Axun, I don't know how much you have investigated. You should be able to find out that I haven't been home for many years."

Jing Xiu sank his eyes and said without concealing: "Well, I found it."

"I found out where your family lives, what are your parents' names, what occupations you are engaged in. I found out where you grew up, what school you attended, and found out your glorious resume, and found out you... There is one who grew up together, named Lu Fiancé released." Jing Xuan said the last sentence in a dumb voice.She grasped the sheet with a slight force.

Ji Yuyan was shocked. The first reaction was that what Jing Xiu found was a problem.She eagerly denied: "Lu Fang, he is not my fiance!"

"The information shows that you are engaged. People around you agree with it." Jing Xiu lowered his eyes, the sadness on his face was obvious.

"That's what they thought. It was false." Ji Youyan was anxious and panicked. "Although Lu Fang and I have known each other for many years, we have really talked about marriage, but I haven't really dated with him, let alone got engaged. Ever."

Jing Xiu raised his eyes and stared at her, in a listening gesture, with a hint of expectation.

Ji Youyan showed pain on his face.Her gaze fell on the whole wall of awards, and she organized a language to confess herself: "Axun, as you found out, I was born in a traditional and conservative family. Both my parents are university teachers. Since childhood, they The expectation of me is that I hope to grow up to be a well-knowing lady. When I grow up, I will inherit the family tradition, marry a well-rounded and good-looking man, and live a life of ethics and stability. Lu Fang is the one in my parents’ relationship The right man."

Jing Xiu's brows frowned following her narration, vaguely distressed.

Ji Yuyan retracted his gaze and looked at Jing Xiu with a little bit of self-deprecation: "A Xiu, not all parents in this world will be like your parents, open-minded and gentle, and respect the wishes of their children."

"Because of my parents, Lu Fang and I have known each other since they were young, and they almost grew up together. He took care of me like a brother. When I was young, my parents sent me to learn piano and art in order to cultivate my temperament. I learned from the beginning. Resist, in the end, I really fell in love with music and enjoyed it. However, from the beginning of junior high school, under the pressure of entering higher education, my father stopped my extracurricular activities. At that time, it may be a rebellious period, the more he would not let me do anything. , The more I want to do. So I always sneak out with other classmates to practice the piano and go out to sketch. In order to have more free time, Lu Fang acts as my shield. He helps me cover and lie to my dad. I go to study by myself and then go out with me to play."

"I always regarded him as an older brother and never thought about it. But since high school, someone would booze me and let me be with him. At the beginning, he would nervously explain to me, and later in college, he became By default, I started to know what he meant. But maybe it’s because I declared to him very early that there is only brother-sister friendship between me and him, so he never confessed, but took care of me in a measured manner so that I didn’t. The way to explain it clearly and thoroughly. When I was about to graduate from university, the misunderstanding that Lu Fang and I were dating reached the ears of both parents. My mother asked me directly, I denied it, but they It seems that I didn’t really believe it, only that I didn’t dare to admit it because I didn’t obey their request to not fall in love before graduating from university.”

"Is it ridiculous? I don't know since when, my parents and I couldn't communicate on the same channel. Most of the time, if we don't communicate, once we communicate, it is easy for the truth to be the lie and the lie to be the truth. "

The truth she told her parents were all lie, and she took all the lie that her parents said.So in the last life, they never met again.

There were tears on Ji Youyan's face silently sliding down, and Jing Xun's heart hurts as if being caught by something.

"Every family has its own different form, which is not ridiculous." Jing Xiu comforted softly.

Ji Youyan stroked Jing Xiu’s gentle face on the screen, touched a tear, and continued: “The year I was in graduate school, Lu Fang was going to study abroad. I don’t know how the parents of the two parties discussed it, nor what about Lu Fang. To my parents, they decided to get me engaged to Lu Fang. When they asked my opinion, I immediately exploded. That was the first time I quarreled and protested loudly with my parents. But I couldn't win them. They Everyone asked me, what is my dissatisfaction with Lu Fang? Lu Fang likes me so much. What is it that Lu Fang is not worthy of me? Everything is fine, but I don’t like it. But to them, liking is a fascinating thing. Naive words do not constitute a reason at all."

"Axun, do you know? Actually I am a very weak person. I have been accustomed to being tied up from a young age, and even the struggle seems to be symbolic. I can't break free, I habitually want to find myself a little comfortable. If I can’t persuade others, I just habitually persuade myself. I persuade myself, in fact, everyone is not united because of love. Maybe it’s not that important whether they like it or not. Their previous generations could come here. , No, it's fine, I should be able to. Or maybe, I might still like Lu Fang gradually. So I compromised and agreed to get engaged."

Jing Xiu's heart twisted into twists, and she bit her lower lip.

Seeing her sadness, Ji Yooyan reluctantly made a joke to make Jingxuan amused: "It seems to be completely nonsense now. After all, you see, I have been bent into a paperclip."

Unfortunately, none of them laughed.Jing Xiu looked at her laughing more ugly than crying, and the tears that had been circulating in her eyes also fell, and she raised her hand and quickly wiped it away.

"However, before getting engaged, I visited a friend in the hospital. She was a good friend of the off-campus music club that I participated in when I was in college. She suddenly fell ill and didn’t have much time. In fact, I had broken up with her for a long time. Because during the time I joined the club, I did a lot of things that my parents found outrageous, including skipping classes to participate in singer competitions, and staying at night to engage in music. These friends, in the eyes of my parents, were people who did not do their jobs properly. Back then. It’s the critical period to win the qualifications for graduate school, so my father explicitly forbids me from mixing in. I can’t compete with my parents, so I really cowardly stay away from them.”

Every time she said that she was "cowardly", it was like taking a knife in her heart, and it was also like taking a knife in Jing Xun's heart.

"The day I went to visit her, she asked me to sing her a song. She said that she hadn't heard me sing for a long time. When she was unhappy before, when she heard my singing, she would forget everything, my song. , Has the miraculous effect of healing people. Before leaving, she asked me a word, she said, a lifetime is very long and very short, are you really willing to live so obediently?" Yu Yan, I think you , Very special, a pity.Ji Yuyan thought of his friend's pale face and regretful tone at that time, and his nose was stuffed as if he was not ventilating.

Jing Xiu watched her cry, followed her silently in tears.

"She passed away shortly after saying this. I went to send her off, and a friend from the same club gave me a guitar, saying that she left it to me. I went home with the guitar on my back and my father saw The guitar reminded me of skipping classes before, and his face suddenly became dark. It was the posture of rain and rain again, and I suddenly felt very boring."

"Being their ideal daughter is too exhausting. They have always felt that my grievances should be taken for granted. If I die tomorrow like that friend, then in the years I have been alive, what can prove that I am me? Myself, have you really lived through? That night I couldn't sleep until dawn, and kept asking myself like this, the more I thought about it, the more I was afraid. I found that I seemed to be unable to find myself."

"Before the engagement, I made up my mind. I don't want to be their ideal daughter anymore. I want to live the life I want. I communicated with them and broke up. In the end, I was kicked out of the house and cut off the relationship. It's the end." Ji Yuyan looked at Jing Xun directly, and said with difficulty and sincerity: "So, Lu Fang and I really have nothing. Axun, you believe me."

Jing Xiu stretched out her hand to wipe Ji Yuyan's tears on the screen, but she could only watch the water droplets on the screen more and more.It was her own tears.

"I believe you." Jing Xuan raised his head to stop his tears, and replied hoarsely."Yes, I have always been willing to choose to believe in you, and I have never been willing to understand and consider you. It's just that you never gave me such an opportunity before. You don't tell me anything, I don't know anything."

She has always believed that knowing a person includes knowing her family and her past. Only by real understanding can there be real understanding.But Ji Yuyan has always been like a cloud of fog, which she can see but can't see through.Ji Youyan's deception once overdrawn her understanding and trust.When her insecurity overwhelmed everything, she could not find the confidence to continue to convince herself to believe unconditionally.

Ji Yuyan breathed in and said, "Axun, I apologize to you. I'm sorry, in the past few years, I evasive and didn't confess this to you. I don't know that you mind so much."

Jing Xiu's breathing became heavier when she heard the words. She was silent for a few seconds before gently asking Ji Youyan: "Yanyan, do you really know if I mind?"

Directly hitting his heart, Ji Yuyan's heartbeat seemed to stop.She found that she was hiding again unconsciously and justifying herself again.No, she actually knew it?She just ignored it deliberately. She pretended to numb herself. It didn't matter. Jing Xiu didn't mind, so she could feel better.After a long time, it seems to be taken seriously.

"Sorry……"

"You know, what I want is never your sorry." Jing Xiu looked at her mildly and sadly: "When I first learned about the past of you and your parents, I was very distressed; when I first learned about the existence of Lu Fang, I Very hurt." Her tears fell on the camera, burning on Ji Youyan's heart.

"For a moment, I suddenly don't know if I have actually walked into your heart. I feel like I haven't really opened your mind or been accepted by you from beginning to end."

Ji Yuyan really wants to hug Jingxiu.Jing Xiu's grievances and Jing Xiu's tears broke her heart.But she can't do it.

She could only explain in panic words: "Axun, I didn't mean it. At first, I didn't tell you, because I gambled. I remembered that when my father drove me out, he called me insulted and let me Never mention their words. Later, I dared not to mention it because..." She choked: "Because the more I like you, the more I know your bravery, and the better I understand the happiness of your family, the more disturbed I am. I want to hide all my unpleasant and unbearable things. I begin to doubt that I have anything worthy of your liking. I am afraid that if you find out that I am not good enough, you may not like me At the beginning, I..."

The more inferior she is, the more proud and glamorous she wants to be in front of Jingxuan, and the more she pretends to be worthy of Jingxuan. It seems that in this way, she can deceive Jingxun to like her a little longer.In this case, how should she tell Jing Xun.

She still couldn't speak.She opened her mouth and burst into tears, but she couldn't make a sound in a sob.

Jing Xiu bit her lower lip without knowing it, and the rust smell of blood was full of her mouth.

She was not willing to embarrass Ji Yoo any more, and interrupted Ji Yoo with a strong nasal voice: "I understand you."

Her nails fell into her palms and asked Ji Youyan: "Yanyan, I know you are proud and your self-esteem is strong, but, don't I?"

Ji Yoon looked at her blankly.Jing Xiu was born like a white swan who should always hold her neck high. Ji Youyan knows her pride and self-esteem better than anyone else.

Jing Xiu sniffed, and said bitterly: "Speaking, taking the initiative is not easy for me. But before, have I been stingy with you?"

Ji Yuyan didn't know how much courage she had mustered every time she took the initiative, let alone how long it would take for her to calm down her sadness every time she resisted.

Comparing heart to heart.Ji Yoo said nothing to respond to her.

"It is not easy for anyone to show their wounds and expose their own unbearableness to others. But am I just the other person to you? Isn't people who love each other who can lick each other's wounds? "Jing Xiu asked her.

"I used to watch my fans save money and vote for my debut in previous games, and I told you in a crushing manner that the reason why I participated in this show was not for my debut. My mother did not agree with me to enter the entertainment industry. I’m self-reliant. Let’s first experience whether I can really bear the pressure of this circle. I know I won’t make a debut, but I still deceived the fans’ sincere support. This is something I still find hard to tell when I think about it. , But you asked me at that time and I told you. At the time, did you think I was despicable?"

Ji Yuyan shook his head: "I have never thought of you that way. I saw you crying at that time, I just felt sad."

Jing Xiu's eyes filled, and he asked: "That time I told you that I was uneasy and perplexed in the past, suffering from gains and losses. Do you feel that my fragility and humbleness are embarrassing, destroying my image, and destroying your feelings for me?"

Ji Youyan choked his throat and said guiltily: "No, I just want to hug you. I blame myself and feel so distressed that I want to die."

Jing Xiu smiled a little bit that made Ji Youyan sad.

She turned her direction, put the phone on the back of the bed, stood against the wall, and then stood upright and turned into a kneeling position.

Ji Yuyan saw Jing Xun’s long fingers interlaced on the hem of her pajamas in the video. Then, her waist stretched out, her forearms stretched slightly, and her pajamas were lifted.

Jing Xiu's flat and tight lower abdomen, an imperfect waist, and a holy carcass appeared in Ji Youyan's sight.

With full breasts, thin waist, delicate luster, and flawless whiteness, Ji Yuyan was stunned when he first saw Jing Xuan's body hidden under his clothes. Apart from marveling at the Creator's preference, he was still amazed.But now, she saw that Jing Xiu’s figure and skin were as perfect as before, except that it seemed that a white jade had broken into a crack, and there was a fierce scar, winding from Jing Xiu’s waist to under the bra. Hidden among them.

All beauty is destroyed.

The huge pain hit, Ji Yuyan's tears burst into his eyes.

This was the first time she saw Jing Xuan's scar after being injured.What kind of psychology did the beauty-loving girl who used to leave small scars on her fingers to accept this imperfect scar on her body.

Jing Xiu stared at Ji Youyan's expression, hands hanging on both sides of his body, fingertips trembling unconsciously.

Her expression, so nervous, and so calm, is completely handing over herself, letting Ji Yoo's attitude of trust.

She asked Ji Youyan: "Is it ugly? I think it's so ugly. I don't dare to look closely every time I take a shower."

Ji Yuyan's heartache was as if he had broken a hundred holes, dripping with blood.She couldn't imagine how painful Jing Xuan had ever been.She shook her head, trembling back to Jingxuan and said: "It's not ugly, it's not ugly at all." With tears in her mouth, she couldn't help lowering her head, kissing the screen with a pious gesture, as if she could kiss Jingxun's body. The scar that soothed her.

Jing Xiu only saw Ji Yuyan approach the camera, and then...

The screen is black...

"Axun, it hurts so much..." She heard Ji Youyan's whimper.

The heart suddenly softened into a mess.

"You look up." Jing Xiu found his reason to stop Ji Yoo.

Ji Youyan raised his head obediently, with tears hanging on his eyelashes, innocent and helpless.

"There are bacteria, go wash." Jing Xiu was touched and funny, and Ji Yuyan's throat was temporarily blocked by Ji Yuyan when he was going to say later.

What a silly and cute person.

The author has something to say: Ji Wangwang is innocent: cuteness is not my fault.