Outaishihi ni Nante Naritakunai!!

I'm not sure. I was lost in the trail.

From that day when I let my son go and shook off my husband, I (I) feel lost all the time.

◇ ◇ ◇

a country southwest of Wilhelm. That's where I come from.

Our country, near Sahaja, was always frightened by the crisis of aggression from them.

My country, not so much a small country, but anxious about its military power.

I don't even know when the spearhead will turn this way, especially now that King Sahaja is a bloody man also known as the invading king.

In the meantime, the decision made by my father, the King, is to have me (me), my daughter, be daughter-in-law to the King Prince of Wilhelm.

It was a common story about having me (me) married and protected instead.

Of course I (I) nodded in two replies.

Born as a royal family, I understood that it was normal to marry for the sake of the country, and if I (I) would only marry one person and the peace of the country would be preserved, I didn't have to worry.

Fortunately, it was Wilhelm who employs polygamy, but Crown Prince Wang does not yet have a concubine. The fact that it was my first marriage also held my back.

That's how the engagement was decided, and the wedding came together a year after that.

I (I) headed to Wilhelm for the engagement ceremony, where I first saw the face of the man who would be my husband...

I wondered how beautiful he was.

Beautiful venerable face with blonde blue eyes. The way he smiled at me (me) was too much to tempt a little girl he'd never been in love with.

- Will this be my husband?

I thought I would accept any marriage for the sake of my country, and I (I) didn't see any picture of the person I was married to.

So I didn't know, but the first time I saw him, he was more beautiful than any man I (I) have ever seen.

Johannes, Prince of Wilhelm, the wedding partner, stiffened his body for a moment when he gazed at me (me), then broke his face. When I kneel before me (me) in an unmistakable motion, I will state the wording used in the ceremony even though it is still before the engagement ceremony.

"It's Johannes van De La Wilhelm. It is an honor to welcome you to my Lady."

I knew you were welcome, and I was relieved. Give your name according to the format.

Once the engagement ceremony is over, the ceremony is one year away. I was going to prepare my mind slowly in the country.

But at the end of the ceremony, Johannes smiled at me as I was preparing to return home.

"I would ask Lord Elizabeth to remain in Wilhelm until the ceremony"

"Huh?"

Sudden words made sense.

Until the ceremony, which means you can't go back to the country anymore.

Surprised at the story he hadn't heard, staring at Lady Johannes, who would be his own husband, he said all the same.

"In your country and mine, common sense and everything will be different. There must be a lot of confusion when you suddenly become the Crown Princess. I want you to take a year to get used to this country by the ceremony."

"... if that's what Mr. Johannes said..."

It took me as long as I wanted to go home, but I endured.

I've decided to marry this man. My husband's wishes should be fulfilled to the fullest, and I couldn't refuse them given that I'm going to ask this country to protect my country.

I can also be convinced of what is being said.

It was heartbreaking that I couldn't even say much goodbye to my parents because I would be home soon, but given my role, I knew what to prioritize.

When I (I) agreed, Master Johannes smiled with joy that I was glad.

Although it is a political marriage, the person prepared is an unpleasant person.

Given the possibility of accompanying a king in his old age, marrying a young prince as the righteous queen of the great kingdom was the best conclusion.

As long as this happens, let's serve this person in good faith.

On the day I came to Wilhelm, I (I) swore to myself so and entered the bed thrilled with excitement in my prepared bedroom. I meditated my eyes as I tried to start tomorrow.

But that day, as a result, I (I) could barely sleep.

Because that night, Master Johannes snuck into my bedroom.

Naturally, I (I) was to be held by Master Johannes without being able to refuse to be the husband who officially completed the engagement ceremony and without being ready for my heart, but I never thought this would happen without waiting for the wedding.

"Yo, Dear Johannes..."

Lady Johannes smiles at me (me) in confusion.

It's as if I can forgive you.

"The engagement ceremony is done. And Elizabeth, you will remain in this country until you celebrate your wedding. I will not return to my country. I don't think there's any reason why you shouldn't."

"Well, that's true..."

He pushed me down (me) confused, and Master Johannes held me (me) who knew nothing, as a matter of course. The ejaculation did not end at once, and I was poured hot drips into the deepest over and over again because I would soon get used to it.

Naturally, the physical condition I woke up in the morning was terrible. Your body feels smudged and your crotch feels uncomfortable as if something is caught in it. I couldn't even move. I even remembered the fear that such a horrible thing was intercourse, but still shook my head that it should be okay.

I'm sure this is because it's the first night.

From now on, it shouldn't be this horrible.

In fact, after hearing Wang Hua's explanation that it was a magical engraving that appeared, I was also convinced that he still held me (me) again and again despite the first time for this.

Because the circumstances were special. From next time on, I'm sure you won't be forced to ask for your body like that. I thought so.

That was only my (my) assumption.

It was the long nightmare days for me (me) that opened the curtain, skinning the first night.

◇ ◇ ◇

"Ah... hey do...!

"Knock..."

I'm totally used to it, the feeling of wetting the back of my body.

On the night of the engagement, after connecting her body, Lord Johannes asked for me (me) like every night.

It's been a year, and since we got married, that's even during the day.

My (my) spirit grew more and more exhausted by the repetitive acts carried out as every day.

This is all I can ask of my body. I guess you don't hate me (me).

But despite all the demands so far, it was hard not to get one word for it.

It's a political marriage. I want you to tell me you like me. I don't say luxury.

But wouldn't you be punished for hanging a few gentle words on me? It was just hard to understand that it was my duty to just be asked.

The women and others were delighted that Master Johannes' affection was serious, but it did not seem to me. I just want my body. That's all I can feel.

The first momentary emotions I had felt already sank deep into my (my) heart and now I just think of each day as melancholy.

Still put up with it, managed to conceive my son, give birth.

I was relieved that I was finally able to do my duty.

Lady Johannes revealed my body once again, even though I had only just fulfilled my duties. My duty as his wife was harder than before, and I (I) thought wholeheartedly.

No. I don't want to have this kind of mindless sex anymore.

I fulfilled my duty as queen. So I want you to let me go.

Hunted to the extreme, I (I) finally exploded at one point, rejecting my husband and rejecting my son.

At that time, I can't forget the two wounded faces.

It was certainly supposed to be me (me) that was hurting me, but I felt so guilty that I wanted to scratch my chest.

- I'm sorry.

I wanted to apologize now.

All the words I just said were lies. I (I) love my son, and I don't hate him about my husband. I just wanted to spit out this no-go thought. He said he just wanted a nice touch from his husband.

But I can't erase the words I put out.

No sin whatsoever. My son ran off on the spot with a shocked face. I wish I had followed immediately, but I (I) couldn't even do such an easy thing anymore. I was exhausted.

I bow my head and leave the room saying that Johannes has been so bad to me.

I'm the only one left on the spot.

By the time I realized it was all over.