Re:Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu (WN)

The feel of the hard ground triggers the awareness of Subaru as cold as ever.

With his eyes open in a depressed position, Subaru spits out the dirt and gravel into his mouth as he wakes up his upper body. If you spit on the earthly odor and look around you, you'll be in a dim darkness with irresistible vision.

- At the cemetery, during the "trials."

The world of Subaru begins again when it's over and in the same place.

While appeased by being back, the obstruction to confronting a world that could once again be hell tries to tangle Subaru.

Subaru shakes his head and shows rejection at the touch of thought that hunches the trail.

Then I stood up, smudged my body, and turned my sight around - I was falling into a corner of the room, and I discovered Emilia.

…………

Subaru, who called and tried to rush over for a small run, hesitates to do so for a moment.

It was just before I came back to my brain - the figure of Emilia, who put the Subaru on her knees, which was being lost, and muttered her mouth unaware of its disappearance.

I don't know, Subaru touches his lips with his fingers and frowns at the sensation of his scabs.

Even at the last moment, Subaru, who was vomiting blood, should have majestically defiled his face. You can't possibly tell the mood of the mouth-watering Emilia or something, but it would never have been something good to remember.

It was the same for Subaru, who was in the abyss of death, and the event itself could not take over its senses and moods, even if it could be recalled.

For Subaru, the first time in his life, and the first time in his mouth with Emilia, he was incapacitated by the ineptitude of 'death', leaving him with no emotions.

――――

However, the hesitant Subaru is not sorry for that.

The recap of the mouthpiece does not reflect on the memories, but there is a great sense of crisis in the transformation of Emilia who did it. - The appearance of Emilia, who relied on Subaru and fled reality.

Emilia's heart had been shattered when Puck didn't show up, couldn't stand the pressure from the villagers and the inhabitants of the 'Sanctuary', and even lost the support of Subaru.

If that result is what it looks like, how has Emilia been in the loop so far?

…………

Four times Subaru left the 'Sanctuary' to return to the Mansion. Only the last time I was able to go back and meet again - but on three other occasions, what had happened to Emilia?

Otherwise, the 'sanctuaries' were all after the Great Raven had already struck.

Even if Emilia's spirit maintained its equilibrium, it can be deduced that it did not withstand the fierceness of the Warcraft. However, what was going on with my mind?

"Whatever was going on and shit, hey... if I'm not there and I'm going to be there, you have to be without me..."

There is no element of optimism about the situation.

It doesn't make sense to be sweet about the future and delude what you're about to overlook.

We must always continue to envisage the worst in order to capture the best possible future.

The world prepares its most cruel and irrational destiny for Subaru.

Then Emilia, Beatrice and the presence of Elsa and Roswar are naturally set in the strongest form for Subaru.

"What I have to do..."

We must save Emilia's heart, save the officials of the 'Sanctuary' from the threat of the Great Raven, and save the companions of the Mansion from the threat of Elsa. - It's a very expensive and dangerous road.

- Can you do that?

Within me, a weak self asks me to prepare an escape route, an excuse, a line of prevention.

- Not that I can't, but I have to.

Stripping his fangs of such weakness, Subaru speaks of his readiness not to rebel his vows.

You can pick up the problem, clarify the clearance conditions, assemble the chronology, figure out how best to use the time, and try again and again.

Even if Svalbard's heart wears out every time he screws it, if there is a future to grasp with it, it is his hope. No matter how much you end up seeing something you don't want to see.

So...

"- Emilia. Are you okay?

I reached out and shook the shoulders of the dear girl lying down.

A lid closed to the feel of Subaru's fingers trembles, and Emilia's consciousness is drawn back from the 'trial' world, from past to reality.

When the lid opens and the brilliance of purple blue reflects Subaru, tears come to mind in just a few seconds, and Emilia, who denies the past, takes Subaru.

That's how I take back Emilia, who wants support, and I also take a firm oath in my heart, vowing with words that I will be her support.

- Defend Emilia, and save no one from him.

Nobody else. Natsuki Subaru has to do it.

At the end of the last loop, sort out the less summarized information of the confusion.

The most important of these would be Roswar L. Mazers.

Roswar, who fed on the fangs of the Great Raven in front of Subaru and scattered his life.

Roswar knows Subaru's 'Back to Death'.

It hasn't arrived that 'death' is a trigger, but I know I'm doing 'redo'.

I don't know if it was ever since I came to the 'Sanctuary' or more, but even that was probably stated in the Gospel in Roswar's possession.

In the previous loop, it was not possible to recover the Gospel owned by Roswar.

If it had been nostalgic, it was in the belly of the Great Raven with Roswar's flesh. Even if it was in the temporary dwelling that I was rehabilitating, it wasn't left in Subaru, such as the room in my mind to jump inside to make sure of it.

Therefore, it is not possible to touch the content of the description.

- What is Roswar's purpose, ultimately?

If we are acting according to the Gospel's description, where is the reason why we threw our lives at the end of the day? - It is also believed that the answer lies in the content of the Gospel.

Perhaps Roswar is on the verge of adhering to the Gospel.

I do not know in what form the description of the Gospel of Roswar will be made, but it should probably be the same as the Gospel such as Petergius that acting as described is a sign that leads to the future we seek.

If the Gospel of witchcraft deviated from the description, it seems to me that Petergius was finally trying to fit his ass by putting in an interpretation that allowed him to have some breadth in the description at his discretion.

In contrast, Roswar is different.

Roswar, who can act with 'redo' in mind, decides that if a future comes that is different from the description, by paying for his own life, he did not have the time to make that difference.

Petergius to deal with on an ad hoc basis, even if not as described.

Roswar does not allow it to differ from the description and resolutely tries to make the statement defend itself.

Even if it is common to have the Gospel, to be a troublesome opponent, the motivation to make the contents of the Gospel come true is the same, but in a different way.

In the way Petergius depended and in the way Roswar depended, it should not have seemed to Subaru that Roswar was of a worse nature.

- The problem is the content of Roswar's Gospel statement.

There, if it is written down to the end of this' sanctuary 'and the events that strike the Mansion, the tragedy will be repeated again and again until it reaches the end Roswar wants.

Even for the snowy scenery of the last 'sanctuary', Roswar is believed to have acted to make the Gospel description a reality. I mean, that snow scene is a phenomenon that should happen every time.

Subaru has never encountered this before because after leaving the 'Sanctuary' and returning to the Mansion, he never had the experience of being returned to the 'Sanctuary' again.

Snowfall by Roswar on the 'Sanctuary' is a means to isolate Emilia.

What the hell does that mean?

The intolerable pressure from the surroundings should have eroded Emilia enough without such a roundabout imitation. Responsible Emilia sensibly perceives her surrounding expectations and continues to challenge her by eating her teeth away with anxiety and helplessness.

So much so that if Subaru doesn't let him lean aside, he'll lose his base and become self-inflicted.

Is it Roswell's purpose to make Emilia do self-immolation?

But if Emilia does that and stops acting 'for someone', there will be no liberation of the 'sanctuary'. Not being released would mean losing the option of 'escaping' against the coming Great Raven.

There are many inconsistencies between Roswar's conduct and his attitude towards Emilia.

And most importantly, just before Roswar was scattered, the words he threw at the end.

- Scrape everything off except what's really important to me.

Roswar was, yes, spilling.

He also said that if I did that, I could be like myself.

Whether or not you wanted to be like Roswar, if you looked for the meaning behind the statement, which means Roswar shredded everything but what mattered and stood there.

In fact, I'm ready to even throw my life out - there's no question.

If we let the statement be complied with, push Emilia into isolation, and get things sorted out in the way we want, will we get the important things that Roswar has just listed?

Or where is the sincerity that Roswar told Subaru?

Either way...

"I'm absolutely sorry I let you go"

Emilia is important.

But of course, there's more to what Subaru wants to protect and more to be on his side than he can count.

The narrow world of Subaru becomes a killing landscape all the time with just one missing somewhere.

Greedy and self-righteous Subaru can't stand it no matter what.

So I can't listen to Roswar.

"Roswar, I... I'm not gonna be like you."

I couldn't handle the crying Emilia, and with her asleep Subaru left the cemetery.

As I marvel at the failure of "Trial" and the rash I've been waiting for in Emilia's condition, it's just like before to move to the house of Lewes to rest Emilia first.

On the road, there were scenes such as caring for the atmosphere or feeling painful in Garfiel's attitude disguised as a bright breeze to the contrary, or realizing that the crown was sending a meaningful gaze, but Subaru did not mention them.

Later on, the former dared to leave to make sure he wanted to be sure.

And about the latter, because Subaru already knows somewhat what that gaze means.

"Hey, silly, let me borrow your face."

Leaving sleeping Emilia to Ram, Garfield called Subaru to rest tonight, just as it was dissolved. Subaru, who had anticipated that call, answered honestly, "Oh," and was taken to the woods outside the 'sanctuary' by a tall shadow going forward.

I can't tell if the location is the same as the location of the previous call, but I could discern that Garfiel's look at Subaru is the same as before.

Shivering his eyes, Garfield is staring at Subaru.

It draws a line with the atmosphere immediately after leaving the cemetery, clearly hostile to Subaru but of late.

Naturally, the first question he mouths...

"Meh..."

"You, what did you see in the graveyard...?

I wondered if I had blue muscles on my forehead when I was covered in my nose, and Garfiel rounded my eyes when I was told what I was about to say.

Surprisingly, when you get a void poked look like that, it's strange because the previous staggering impressions are dispelled and the atmosphere peeks somewhere young.

In a one-eyed Subaru posture, Garfiel immediately shook his neck to the side, chewing his fangs as he regained his mind.

"Thin creepy, if you know what I'm talking about. Don't cover it up, be honest with me. If you don't want to feel painful."

"Right. I have a lot to be sure of, and I'm busy. - I don't mind answering your question, but can you also answer the question from me instead?

"Do you think you're in a position to barter? I am in a position to unilaterally eat Mei Mei, and I am in a position to offer meat other than my own to avoid being eaten." Maggie offered him a brother after his brother. "

"That's the worst idiom you've ever said, it"

Responding with shrugged shoulders, Subaru often drops his gaze and chooses to remain silent.

Garfiel looks in a hurry, but still doesn't rush Subaru. Subaru took a deep breath and decided on the answers to respond.

"I got a 'trial' inside. I've seen the past."

"-! I knew you were qualified...... So, the result..."

"It's a failure. Yeah, so easy, it's not like you can deny or accept the past.... even Emilia should be nagging."

Tell the truth in the first half and falsehoods in the second half, and tell each one of them about Garfiel's reaction.

Garfiel, who changed his blood phase when he heard Subaru had been 'tried', but I can see he dropped his shoulder to relief when he heard it didn't lead to a breakthrough.

"You look a lot like a hockey."

"Am I...?

"That's what I thought, accepting Emilia's failure with a happy face that the Sanctuary won't be freed."

To Subaru's words, he snorts like Garfiel, who was frowning at his root. He lowered his posture slightly and glanced up Subaru from the bottom,

"Meh, what have you heard in the past... no, what have you heard in 'Trials'...?

"The formation of this' sanctuary ', a light back circumstance. And you and Mr. Lewes, I guess."

"- Oh, my God... Meh, my..."

Subaru shakes his neck sideways ahead of Garfield, who will probably continue to wonder if he knows about the past.

Subaru has not stepped into the contents of the 'trials', which he is concerned about.

It's just...

"I don't know that much about what you've seen in the past. I have an idea why you're keeping your mouth shut about being tested."

"... until that happens"

"I have a guess, though. You can be angry if the evil push is too much."

Subaru's relationship with Garfield is only one day old in this world.

After this, most of the information that Subaru will come to know in his contacts with Garfiel is still not at the stage where he would otherwise be allowed to talk.

That's the same thing, of course, about Ryus Mayer himself sleeping in the lab.

Subaru is therefore also an opportunity to gain this knowledge within the cemetery, trying to survive the convenient use of 'trials' and the presence of Echidna.

As things stand, I can't think of any new information that Subaru can get from talking to Garfield or any future new moves.

Now I just wanted to cut this conversation off quickly.

But...

"- Hey, why don't you, uh, try 'em again?

――――

To the silent garfiel, Subaru was overlapping and releasing such an inquiry.

Garfiel, who hears it, does not try to make Subaru look down on his face.

My arms are sluggish and my alert posture is loose and loose.

So, without an immediate attack, he decided so.

"I must not feel inconsistent with your actions. To free the 'Sanctuary', you look horrified by failure as you push Emilia out. I'm halfway there if I'm serious about stopping the liberation of the Sanctuary."

If we don't ultimately think ahead, Garfield just needs to beast and take Subaru and Emilia's life.

Naturally, the emotions of the evacuees and the Roswars will suck, but if Garfield's purpose is to seriously interfere with the liberation of the 'sanctuary', that is certain and quick.

Despite this, Garfiel is at a critical point - which is why he will not attempt to extend himself to the act until Subaru crosses the line that will allow the refugees to flee the 'sanctuary'.

- Something, I don't know Subaru yet, has boundaries inside Garfiel.

If you were able to clearly identify that,

"I wish I could use your help."

I said, "Well, well."

To Subaru's words, Garfiel, once, argues with his voice interrupted.

Garfiel, with his face up, shook his head with an unrounded look of constant temper, however,

"As I said, there's no match between you and me. I'm not actively interrupting, but I'm not actively helping. Neutral. Neutral, that's okay."

"That standing position, it doesn't look super good. Are you aware of that?

"It suits you, it doesn't suit you. We're not talking about it. I will, because I need to."

Saying something not too seemingly, Garfiel kicked the ground in frustration, rolling up the dirt and dust and turning his back on Subaru.

"If that half demon is going to cross the" trials, "that's it. I understand that we need to cross the" trials "in order to get out of here more than we were taken in. - But whether or not you follow me outside the open Sanctuary is different."

…………

"If you want to leave, get out on your own. But, hey, don't try to do anything inside. Don't you dare step on this side. Well, I won't do anything."

"Outside, I need your help. May I say so?

"... we'll never have what we want. That's the end of my story. Just an extra imitation, sorry."

Don't listen to Subaru, but maybe, speaking rationally, Garfiel walks away from the spot.

Until now, Garfiel, who has shown a strong rejection of the conversation he stepped into, has not hung up on Subaru only this time.

The difference is, where is the sincerity?

"I've got a lot to think about… but"

With his fingers in his dark hair, Subaru simply keeps the complicated information in his head.

Though it is the mountains that want to put together, organize, assemble and derive answers.

"Including that, even if you think about it alone, it doesn't make sense."

If you get lost in the labyrinth of thought, Natsuki Subaru is once again entangled in a negative spiral. In order not to be, what Subaru needs to do now.

"Can I count on you again..."

It was only to think of someone in this world who could uncover Subaru's troubles.

Subaru's legs were off so that he could be moved by difficult emotions.

After Garfiel and I broke up, the foot we walked out of had quickly turned into a running foot.

Subaru runs as he roughs his breath, sweats on his forehead and shivers his eyes.

There is one way to go, in the graveyard, illuminated by the moon that floats in the night sky.

After the exchange.

Before I said I wouldn't interfere with Subaru's deeds, I wouldn't let Garfiel get in the way.

There is nowhere to blame Subaru for rushing inside the cemetery again.

Just reaching the entrance, Svalbard, who stopped his leg, wipes his sweat rampantly with his sleeve.

Calming his breath out with a repetition of deep breaths, Subaru looking forward peeks into the darkness in the graveyard.

It is among them - or the castle of dreams, which should also be called the abyss - that is, the world of Echidona.

"He wants to know... if that's what you want..."

When invited, the gray-haired witch explained that to Subaru.

With a sense of humility, Svalbard came here believing in it.

There are a lot of things I want to hear, things I want to talk about, things that bother my head with me, things that I want you to help me give an answer to.

I want you to open up and show me the way that only the witch of greed can reveal.

What you have to do is consistent with what you want to do.

And then I want answers other than worrying about how to make it happen by myself.

――――

I have to go to the castle of Echidona and feel sorry for her to spit out all the confusion that Subaru has about her.

Nor does my leg tremble at the possibility of revealing everything to Echidna to break contraindications and the shadow of jealousy covering the 'Sanctuary' up again.

Just still, Subaru is rare.

That the witch's guide will lead us to open this invisible path of destiny.

"If I were you right now... the conditions would have been met."

Because we are so lost.

So much for trying to get my hands on it.

What is it, not the apostle of greed that Subaru now seeks and desires?

Throw your life out again and again. Even pride, if you have to give it away, I'll give it as much as I want.

Because that's what all the pitiful, helpless, ignorant Natsuki Subaru is all about.

"Please, Echidna......!

Breathe in, Subaru steps into the cemetery when he is quietly in the mood.

Already once tonight, during the 'trials' that have embraced the challenger, Svalbard moves into the center of the room looking around the square space.

"Wherever and what rituals are needed is a battle..."

When he was invited to dream for the second time, Subaru should have remained in a crawling posture just after 'Back to Death', except he desperately craved answers.

I don't even think there was a special, dedicated condition.

In the meantime, Subaru kneels on the spot, hands together and eyes closed.

It is the appearance of a white witch that draws on the back of her brain, arranging her own emotions as she calls on her. Let's appeal to the diligence of attracting a stuck future.

――――

As it were, Subaru would continue to wait silently for time to pass.

I could see for myself that the cold air in the cemetery stroked my bare skin and yet I was sweating slightly cold on my forehead.

Seeking. Desperate.

I am greedy. Hard work.

If this is all you ask for, this is all you want, and you still don't get it.

- Isn't greed just an enormous amount of desire in a person's hands?

"- Ugh?"

On the verge of weakness plunging in, Svalbard, who closed his eyes, gained the illusion of white light entering his lid into the darkness behind his lid. - No, it's not an illusion.

――――

White light offends vision, and a world of dark gradually erodes.

If I realized it, my kneeling body would fall to the ground and I could see my consciousness diverging from reality and pulling me to another world.

- The invitation to the castle of dreams begins.

to Echidna's waiting castle, so now it is time to have a discussion to grasp the future.

In a hazy consciousness, Subaru just remembers that...

- Look at this.

The moment my consciousness fell, I felt I heard such a voice.

The intoxicating sensation was shaking the whole nerve of Subaru greatly.

I don't know what happened.

The awakening of consciousness came abruptly. It's like switching channels.

Switching of consciousness while still dragging the noise, as if it had been transformed into a channel of a completely different atmosphere from the one before.

Shortly after "Back to Death," Subaru learns a similar feeling to this.

The misery of the world just before death and the situation immediately after "returning to death" is what engraves discomfort in the soul as well as in Subaru's state of consciousness and flesh.

――――

Then the awakened Subaru realizes that his voice does not speak as if to speak.

I tried to put my hand on my throat, and then I realized late that I had no sense of throat, no sense of hand.

――――

No hands, no feet, no eyes, no mouth, on the contrary, no body even existed in Subaru today.

Only consciousness floats in the universe, overlooking the world as if it were a mere presence of perspective.

It's an unnatural, missing sensation of flesh, like being in a dream.

Yet isn't it the first time it seems like this is because that's what I dream about?

By thinking that way, Natsuki Subaru was trying to detach consciousness from the sight in front of him.

But that was impossible.

Subaru without a body is neither allowed to turn his neck separately nor even to close his eyes.

It's just in front of me - I just have to watch the sight of being burned undeniably to consciousness.

"- Tsuki"

It was a small, plundering voice.

What did you say, the more difficult it is to hear, the weaker voice.

Yet,

――――

Intuitively understood.

Mazui and Subaru, just consciousness, perceived it by instinct.

It was a voice you shouldn't have heard.

It was something you shouldn't have noticed.

Something I shouldn't have known was there.

But no matter how much consciousness sees it, it doesn't change the sight of burning. It won't even disappear. Just push and engrave that 'result' on Subaru.

"Liar... liar, liar, liar, liar, liar..."

Tears mix up in the sound of repeated words, words that could not be heard taking on a clear form, and whining as if they forgot to end.

It's a painful sight. There was constant sorrow in my ears. Seeing it and hearing it is the best of all the suffering in the world.

――――

Why, I'm here now.

How could I let this happen to me?

Failed. Wrong. I screwed up my judgment. I shouldn't have noticed. I shouldn't have known. I shouldn't have been reminded.

- If you don't think so, I will.

"Liar, liar! Subaru's... Liar no! Lying, kidding -!"

Tears from his eyes of purple and blue, and so cries Emilia, who falls apart.

Like impeaching betrayal, like denying the nightmare in front of you, shaking your hair as long as a child, screaming like Emilia frenzied.

- In front of Rem lying on the sleeping table, the remains of Subaru, who had damaged himself by poking his neck with a short knife, were lined up in front of crying Emilia.