Re:Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu (WN)

- It's going to disintegrate, it's going to disintegrate, it's going to collapse from under your feet.

Losing sight of the scaffolding that was certainly supposed to have happened, Subaru was feeling like he was falling from a high place.

The actual Subaru stands in the middle of the room, eyes open and stiff.

Nevertheless, I had such an illusion because by then the shock brought about by Roswar's confession was too great for Subaru.

"Out of reach..."

"There will already be an answer. If something important, something important, and two are driven to crisis at the same time, people are forced to make choices. Choose which is more important, and a way of life that takes away those who weren't chosen. And the only thing that can be done is you, the chosen one."

"This is ridiculous!! Completed Being!? All I see is a big, scratchy idiot standing alone in a blowing wilderness!

"But an important being can be held in a place overflowing with greenery, with its innocent beauty preserved. Is that a higher priority than not scratching yourself?

Subaru mumbles at Roswar's inquiry, which is restoring some calm.

I wasn't wrapped up in words, I didn't lose sight of the objections.

It's just that the amount of emotion that erupts was too great to even be a word.

- I've never felt more of the rhetoric that I can't tell you things because I'm frightened.

To the theory of why I don't know, to the Gospel that juxtaposes unsolicited events, that the result of abandoning thought and obeying it is the tragedy of that mansion?

Will Frederica, Petra, or even Beatrice die because of such selfishness?

Are they going to lose their lives, betrayed by the Lord, who should have put their trust in them, just for such a crappy purpose of completing Subaru?

"Roswar... you, really, are you crazy...?

"... yes, but I am so crazy. Four hundred years ago, ever since I was fascinated by those eyes, I've been doing something about it."

"Four hundred...... huh?

I can't swallow the meaning of words that can be thrown away, and Subaru, who parrots back, puzzles his face.

Four hundred years ago again - but it's too unnatural for Roswar to say it. There must be no way for him to know four hundred years ago. Not to mention that the narrative now seems to have existed itself for four hundred years -

"Natsuki Subaru"

A voice called up close to the lid, Subaru shaking his eyes in confusion.

If you look at it, there is the presence of Roswar, who stood up at some point in front of you. Standing at a breath-taking distance, Subaru moves his mouth back as he gasps - grabbed his collar and can't back down. Attracted, bumped forehead and forehead.

"You gave me a reputation for being crazy. I'll agree with that, too. Definitely, I'm crazy. Insane. They took my heart a long time ago."

"Ah, ah..."

"Why aren't you doing enough, huh? Like me, no, you're the one who should be doing more wrong than me. If you're not, you have to be in an unchallenged situation. Because it's much more expensive and far from what you want than what I want. [M] Nobody understands, can't, doesn't need a human heart to go the path of solitude. Make your mind strong, hard, like steel, and you have to - don't you?

"Ah, uhh... uhh, let it go!

With every word creeping into the back of his brain, there was a force in Roswar's voice that seemed to drag him to the bottom of the darkness. Subaru shakes his head to shake it off, poking Roswar's chest at the distance he touches.

Poking his finger at the long body that steps back on the bump, Subaru can't hide his trembling voice in the vanity.

"Whatever it is, whatever it is, your prospects are crushing when qualifications are taken from me! Whatever thoughts you set up in the Mansion, it's a pointless sacrifice in a futile act! If you find that out, make them stop imitating you stupid right now!

"No. - I saw you weren't ready, and I understood the need more and more strongly. You don't have to be human. [M] Let me hunt you down, hurt you, and make you so dependent on Emilia that you will no longer be stripped of your humanity. Dear Emilia, let me also drown you in the love that only depends on you being what you have to be. I'll sink into a relationship where there's only one of us, and I'll take your path to drowning in a grump. That's the only way for me to get what I want."

"What's the point of that...! Where I shredded, I won't come back with no more credentials! It's a broken bone, you're not getting anything!

"You must know best for yourself if that's the real deal."

Roswar's voice hits freezing Subaru screaming.

Dunn, my heart bounced so hard that Subaru also figured out the sincerity of Roswar's words. Nothing, it's a simple story.

As I thought earlier - Echidna will reach out if Subaru seriously reconsiders and asks for help. When you're really, really stuck, if you just need to move forward, Subaru has the way to go.

And the thing is,

"If the presence of you returns, Echidna will happily reissue anything with qualifications. Naturally given her nature, I know that's about it."

…………

"Don't be complacent, Natsuki Subaru. You're not the only one who understands Echidna."

It wasn't even like Roswar, it was a voice full of hatred and resentment.

Subaru hardens himself to the strength of the evil emotions that hit him too straight. Then for the first time since I chewed on the meaning, I felt I understood Roswar's purpose.

"You give priority to the liberation of the 'sanctuary'... because Echidna wants it"

…………

"Let him clear the 'trial' of the graveyard he set up, let him free the 'sanctuary'... leading to whether that's his sustenance or something, that's how you think"

"... In her lifetime, Echidna cared about how this place would end after her death. It left a trick in the cemetery and let his soul dwell. It's just that the end she was looking for hasn't come to this place in four hundred years."

Four hundred years have elapsed since the junction surrounding the 'sanctuary', during which the junction has never been broken.

The end that Echidna wanted and wanted to see is not yet here. What Roswar is asking is to show Echidna the end of it, to quench its soul?

The idea itself is incomprehensible. Never in the original world did I believe in the existence of spiritual souls or anything else, but Subaru has dealt with Echidna and other witches in this world.

If you have feelings of dealing with them, and their untrained remains in the land, there are thoughts that are close to gratitude to the extent that you want to make it happen.

But to live now for that matter, to scorn other loved ones and so on.

"And that's not what I'm talking about. Roswar, Echidna's soul is ready for another time. I can promise to work hard for that. - So now get your hands off the mansion."

"No. I fulfill my wish, Echidna's wish. Hit the hand you need. Let's plunge others as much as we need to, hurt you, and wear mud."

"You're not getting yourself involved with someone else! If you want to pull him out and say something, do it yourself! I'm not trying to sacrifice the guy who tried to create the future, the girl who still has the future, the girl who can't believe the future!

Neither Frederica, Petra, nor Beatrice need be sacrificed for such a plan.

There must be no reason to be attached to Roswar's solitude, let alone to be unrelated to their humanity, such as to hurt Subaru.

"No. If I were to listen, that would be just the saying 'do as Roswar says'. Block everything else. Their sacrifice is imperative."

"Don't be ridiculous. You can expose what you're up to and what happens as a result."

"It's up to you to think ahead and act. What's the point of doing that? Where I made my evil deeds public, the situation surrounding the 'sanctuary' remains how unchanged. Lady Emilia loses her back shield to challenge the king's race, and more than that, her relationship with the refugees and the inhabitants of the 'sanctuary' also definitely deteriorates. You think Master Emilia can challenge the 'trials' and get results with a bomb that conceived evil emotions on its back? How many times have you seen Emilia fall with those eyes?

"Ga, even Garfiel is Frederica... if I hear your sister is going to sacrifice your plan, it's definitely not free..."

"If you expect that from me, your eyes are increasingly cloudy. There is absolutely nothing like Garfield jumping out of the 'sanctuary' to help Frederica. It is pathetic and foolish of Garfiel to be imprisoned and unable to move by an unlikely threat if something happens to the 'sanctuary' during his absence. He has a narrow field of view, is solid, and has only his arms. For halfway around my head, I can also think about what the 'sanctuary' would be like if I lost it. Therefore, I cannot move to your advantage. [M] - I'm a child, desperate only to protect my weak and fragile world."

A desperate child, the expression pokes his chest.

That's the same rating the witches gave to Subaru for even trying to sacrifice ourselves at the Tea Party. And that's what Garfield looks like to Roswar.

I don't even know, or know, that they think so. Does Garfield continue to make a disturbing stride towards his rooted purpose?

"Garfield won't set you up. I'm not going to stop planning. All you have to do is shrink, sharpen, and complete a situation that doesn't extend to you. No further need. You're breaking up, Natsuki Subaru. - Who else but Emilia died, and there's nothing to say about it, you'll have to break it off."

"Don't be ridiculous! Me! I'm not gonna be like you! Thinking like you, thinking like you... I would never! That's not how humans think!

…………

"I'm human. No matter how painful or painful you feel, no matter what kind of unclear power you are given, that doesn't damage it. - I'm human. Human beings, continue to be."

Affirming to the silent Roswar, Subaru backwards and distances himself from his length. Roswar let his complex emotions pass only for a moment on its righteous face and immediately shrugged his shoulders.

"Ma, I don't care. As long as you have endless opportunities, that's the same thing for me. I guess I'll just give up on your persuasion this time. I'll take care of it."

"Even if this isn't a good time... and the next opportunity, the next one, I will never nod at your suggestion. You won't."

"- Leave the room. There's no point in living this life anymore."

Back in bed, Roswar wearing a futon leaves that much to say, unconscious from Subaru. The way he tried to sleep with his eyes closed was refusing to communicate with Subaru as he put it.

opening his mouth to that Roswar attitude, but the words came out of nothing,

――――

Subaru remained silent, leaving the room behind with a sense of defeat.

Out of Roswar's bedroom, Subaru walks under the fluttering moonlight.

- What am I supposed to do?

Getting out of my mouth is an inquiry into an invisible problem ahead, the exact same sentence that is repeated in my chest, and not only does the answer return like a wooden spirit.

The question thrown away never reaches anyone, but disappears into the void and leaves only emptiness in his throat like a lump.

Literally, all I can say is octagonal blockage.

Neither Roswar's nor Echidna's cooperation is likely to be forthcoming anymore.

Echidna's cooperation is physically, and Roswar's cooperation is emotionally impossible.

As a possibility, Svalbard had the idea in his head.

I was wondering if Roswar was Elsa's employer and the 'trial' against Emilia - in this case, the 'trial' was directed at Subaru, but was letting him attack the mansion for it.

Elsa appears as if Svalbard foresaw his arrival at the Mansion. Knowing Frederica's death, which could be guided, and the existence of a concealed passage or Beatrice's library. If you sort them out and think about it, only Lamb or Roswar was likely to be cited as a suspect.

And there is no need for Roswar to do anything that would put Roswar at a disadvantage, and Roswar is the only one left with the erasure method. - Though it was possible that I was trying not to think outside of the corner of my head because it meant it shouldn't be, more than I wanted it to come off.

"If Roswar is Elsa's employer..."

Does it also mean that on the first day of Subaru's summons, in the King's capital, where the emblem of Emilia was stolen, was a guide for Roswar?

If the Gospel had foreseen the appearance of Subaru's presence, a presence with the power to 'return to death', and that was what was needed to make Emilia prevail, the uproar of that day would have been necessary to draw Subaru to his side.

Was it all on the palms of Roswar that day, that I ran hard, that I died three times to help Emilia, that I heard her name along with Emilia's smile?

"Everything is as predicted... then it's all about Lem being deprived of his existence and thus blocked in all directions in the 'sanctuary', as someone planned..."

If so, is Subaru even willing to continue to be so diligent just on someone's manipulative thread extension line?

Is there no answer for the future other than Subaru trumpeting and moving on with everything but Emilia? Now that the road to get there has been interrupted, is it only a blockage?

"Are you stupid or I... No, I'm stupid. I am. With that thought, the result of my thoughts stopping would be Roswell... until I get swallowed up by it, so what..."

The fact that the Gospel is not absolute is best understood by Subaru, who repainted the contents of the Gospel in the possession of Petergius.

Neither is the description of the Gospel all-powerful, which shows the way to the future. In fact, if something different occurs from that description, Rosewar gives up the world and throws expectations around the next time -.

"Huh?"

I think there's been something, something strange right now.

Slowly through the order, Subaru did get uncomfortable as he toured his thoughts about the Gospel Roswar had. What that is, the scratch doesn't take shape.

"What? What... what's wrong? But something is wrong......!

In the mood of being given an unanswered mystery, Subaru searches for the light that is in his sight.

The Gospel of Roswar. Doing as described. The Gospel of Beatrice. The 'gospel' of witchcraft. A prophecy in which the possessor dies and the first is not remembered. Blank page. Results as prophesied. The result of not being as prophetic - it's different from the description, now.

"No. - One more step, something's not coming out."

Although I feel caught up in some of the scattered pieces, they all get misty without tying a specific shape. However, this trigger should not be overlooked.

Many times before, the blockage situations have all pulled the answers out of small takeaways to pave the way and come through.

This time too, every single fragment of it must tie into the answer -.

- Subaru?

"Huh?"

A name is called to the lid to raise the awareness of Subaru, who was sinking into the sea of thought.

If you put your face on the surface of reality, Emilia was staring Subaru in the twinkling silver hair in the moonlight falling into thin darkness.

chest sore sharply at the unexpected encounter, Subaru lifted his hand, unable to hide its surprise,

"Ah, Emilia...... Tan. Why are you here? It's a long time ago, isn't it?

"That's the same thing for Subaru, isn't it? If you stay up too late, you won't grow taller."

"Me, I'm probably at the end of my growing season, so I'm worried about it too late..."

At the usual rate, Emilia comes shaking a slightly uncore topic. Restoring some tranquillity in her response, Subaru takes to nature and beside Emilia.

The place is in the middle of the 'sanctuary', like a whispering square. Leaving her hips in some of the stone mossy, dried fountain-like objects, Emilia sends a stream towards Subaru, who lines up next to her by shaking her silver hair in the night breeze.

My worried purple blue eyes look glossy somewhere, bringing a painfully sweet urge to Subaru's weak heart today.

"I don't sleep, I'm just taking a walk... what's wrong with Subaru?

"... no, that's where I am too. He's the type who can't sleep when the pillows change, and Otto's snoring is surprisingly loud."

"It's amazing and surprising that Subaru was such a delicate neurotic bearer"

Put your hands on your mouth and laugh small, Emilia. Looking at the side of it, I think Subaru was the first to see Emilia again the same night he 'went back to death' like this.

Essentially, where we do not relate to Subaru, the actions of others, even if looped, follow a certain flow. This means that Emilia was bound to be on a stroll this way for sleepless nights the first night she challenged The Trial.

Change was also coming to Emilia while she was invited to a tea party, sifted violent by Garfiel, found out who the crowds were in the facility behind the woods, found out the fact that Roswar was a mastermind, and Subaru was doing all sorts of things.

"... Subaru, you're not well"

"Yeah, I guess. I don't think so."

"Yeah, lie. If it was the usual Subaru, it would be more like this... wouldn't it?

"I don't want to hear so much about it..."

It's been a long time since this exchange, too, and when Subaru responds with his cheeks loosened somewhere in relief, Emilia smiles pointing to Subaru's cheeks, "Here,"

"I finally laughed. Subaru, because you always try to look like you laughed at me, but now you couldn't even do it that way"

――――

"Something, something hard... has happened? If you have a problem... if it's okay with me, I'll ask?

After being pointed out that his cheeks, which were hardening, were loose, he was thrown worrying words and Subaru did not think, and felt the back of his lid creeping hot and desperate to indulge.

Gentle, merciful words creep across my body. In the present situation, which is blocked in all directions, with no way to strike my hand, and even the light that I should have seen interrupted, I was about to fall on my sweet palm, which I could reach out to gently.

I feel sorry for my fluttering beliefs and regret that I couldn't even penetrate my own, just a moment ago, will to consolidate.

"This is... this is my problem. You can't imitate Emilia."

…………

"You're the one who's having a harder time than anything about me. In" Trial, "you're the only one disturbed... and now you're okay with that?

"Yeah, that verse bothered you. Sorry about the noise, huh?... because my mind seemed to get hit with a problem that I wasn't ready for at all"

Turn away and respond with a powerless grin that Emilia breathes into Subaru that distracts her from the subject.

Then she leaves her hips in the object and looks up at the night sky as she turns her back,

"Really... I wasn't ready at all, 'cause that's what they thought. I've come this far, running away from all the things I have to face."

"Nothing. I don't think that's a bad thing. What's wrong with getting away from the unpleasant? If you keep facing the unpleasant, can you overcome it one day? Do I have to overcome it, do I have to? Suppose you found a different path ahead of you and decided to go that way...... is that like having to be pointed back finger?

"Subaru......?

Quickly, Emilia frowns in shape at Subaru slipping her tongue without clumping together what she wants to say. bewildered Emilia, but unaware of its reaction, Subaru was

"Echidna, who planted the 'trials' in the cemetery, Roswar, who pulled it here because she knew it was there, Garfiel, who interrupts because she knew she had to get over it, is always so selfish. Why do we have to swing when you guys are attached to each other when you like to do what you want? So when I tried to do something our way, they complained that it wasn't going to work... what am I supposed to do?"

――――

"Even though my head is going to flat and I'm going to figure it out. Not yet, the problem piles up like it stacks up... at the end of the sentence, I'm the reason for that, you're kidding me. Bullshit. Bullshit -"

It was the moment when my emotions dawned and I even felt dizzy about my unknowable anger.

Soft palms circle around the back of the head and the body is pulled down by the feeling of being caught in the head by the lid. Sticking from his head into the soft feel in the front as it was, Subaru held his breath unintentionally.

It's terribly hot and the soft feel covers Subaru's face.

I heard a heartbeat from beyond the warmth of contact and made Subaru realize that the whitened thought slowly held Emilia's chest in the present situation.

"Ah, ah?"

"Slowly. Quiet. Just slow down and listen to my heart."

"-"

"Leave yourself to a certain heartbeat, breathe quietly, vomit... repeat. When you calm down, slap me in the back. Until you calm down, you can stay put."

The pleasure of being tickled by the voice whispered in his ear runs and Subaru's breath rubs up unexpectedly. Though the emotional augury blew away in that shock, she is instead annoyed by the sensation that Subaru's entire body of blood boils.

What makes you and how are you in this situation? Hearing a quiet Emilia beat, beating her own heart with a fierce and sharp rhythm that's not what it is.

But the heartbeat that was calling for such agitation is also naturally relaxed, unwinded by Emilia's breath and her softly stroking hands on the back of her head. Breathe deeply as he was told, repeatedly vomiting when he inhaled, and Subaru set his breath and heart in order.

Then quietly, slap Emilia on the back. To signal it, the hand that was touching the back of his head was removed, and Subaru awakened his body with remorse,

"Calm down?

"... somehow"

Subaru exhales small in front of the purple blue glow right in front of him.

Emilia smiles of relief "good" at that Subaru answer. With such embarrassment that her face was about to turn red on her gauge, Subaru shook his neck small and sideways,

"Disturbed, sorry. I didn't want to bother you like this."

I don't think it's annoying at all.

"But Emilia should be a lot harder than me. That's for real.... If I could, that's how hard I'd see you... I'd have thought I'd help you."

"Subaru......"

In front of Emilia, there is a self who always wants to look good and make herself.

The truth is, though I'm shy, weak and solitary, and I always want to be next to you by constantly putting up my fill of stuff that's missing everything.

"It just doesn't work, and I really... I've been hanging out with Roswar. Somehow, I wonder if I can get through the sanctuary without" trials. "

"Huh?"

"Really, it would have been best if I had been able to replace Trial... but I don't think I could do that. So at the very least, I was desperate to find out if it wasn't a way out, but it was also difficult. I don't know what to do... sorry it didn't help"

"Subaru -"

Keep your head down. No matter how many times I had had the opportunity to start over in "Back to Death," I felt sorry for my shallowness for not being able to find only one way to do it.

If we had done better, there would have been plenty of cases where even a sad world could not have been born, as reminded in the second 'Trial'.

Even a mourning ground like this one must have found a way to do it -.

"But I'm sure I'll do something about it. Let Emilia do something about it so she doesn't feel hard or unpleasant. So I want you to believe me."

"... Subaru"

"Oh."

Emilia moisturizes her eyes and looks up at Subaru.

Staring back at those wet eyes, Subaru solidifies his readiness not to screw around only the most important part of his mind that is shaking.

Protect Emilia, get over the 'sanctuary', save the mansion, and get it all back.

One thing, it's a way out of sight of the light, but I'm sure I can figure it out...

"I'm happy with Subaru's feelings. I'm really glad. - But I can't accept that kindness"

Yet the readiness, which was supposed to solidify, was denied head-on by the mouth of the dear girl, who dwelt her strong faith in her eyes.