Chapter 33
Dominic threw me down on his cot and I leaped up to run back out. His arm wrapped around my waist and he pinned me in front of him.
"Let me go!" I yelled and stomped down on his foot.
He didn’t move and waited for me to wear myself out. I struggled against his torso, elbowing behind me into the hard mass that was his chest.
He grunted occasionally but didn’t move against my barrage of kicks and punches. Soon, I was panting heavily and slumped against the bar of a forearm across my midsection.
He gave me a questing look and set me back down. My brow was furrowed and lip upturned as I crossed my arms and turned away from him.
"Sit," he demanded.
Turning back, I sneered at him and stuck out my tongue, my message clear.
"Sit!" His voice booming and forceful. My legs buckled without my permission and my butt found the edge of the bed.
I had followed his command without wanting to, my body betraying me. Anger bubbled up and the urge see him burn in a purple flame resurfaced.
I concentrated, waiting for the force of my powers to emerge, expectant for its call. But nothing came up and my scowl grew deeper.
"You can’t make me sleep with you just to fulfill some ritual I know nothing about."
If I weren’t so angry, I would be scared of what he might do. He sat next to me on the bed and I scooted away in defiance.
"I’m not making you but I am urging you to atleast consider it."
"I will not!" I pouted.
"Rebel, just because Grayson isn’t a threat doesn’t mean your safe. There are still three other werewolves that, every month, aren’t going to be very nice. If you are unclaimed, they’ll either fight to turn you into their breeder, or kill you to stop you from becoming someone else’s."
My breath hitched and I listened now, carefully considering his warning.
"Werewolves are dangerous, we’re not always in control of our animalistic side. And if you think Marek was bad before the full moon, imagine how worse it would be if sex was the only thing on his mind."
My heart skipped a beat and I licked my now very dry lips. My fingers had gone cold and my neck sweaty with anxiety. I didn’t want to but my mind betrayed me I imagined the giant pinning me to the ground, the monster between his legs living up to same size as the rest of him.
When I wanted to lose my virginity to Julien, everything felt right. Every moment we shared felt meant to be. But now things were different again.
I considered his proposal. With Dominic, it wouldn’t be love but duty. The idea felt scary.
"I’m not ready," I said in a small voice and looked up at him from beneath my lashes.
Dominic was so cold, so unfamiliar. He didn’t write me poems or give me flowers to show he was thinking about me. His thoughts were precise and calculating. His actions and words were not meant to be cruel but methodical towards what he wanted, giving him a callous disposition.
He placed his hand on my shoulder, "then not yet. But staying here still stands. I won’t have my luna sleeping with lesser wolves."
I glared at him, "they’re no lesser than you, Dominic."
His brow twitched at his name. He looked pleased that it had come from my lips even if it was said with poison and I pursed a scowl at him.
"Well, tell that to Grayson. I beat him when they couldn’t."
At the mention of Grayson, my defiant attitude faltered. The heat of my anger turning cold at his memory.
"Do you know? Is he dead?"
He let out an exasperated breath, his own attitude dissolving.
"Yeah. Julien found him the day after and buried him at the base of the cliff."
I let out a whimper before the tears started to fall. It couldn’t be true, and Julien was the one to find and bury him? My heart broke into a million pieces as I rubbed at Grayson’s crescent moon on my wrist.
Dominic slid his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer. I leaned into him and began to sob. He shushed me and stroked my hair to calm me. His chin settled above my head and I nestled into his collarbone, surprised that I was letting my emotions fall.
He let me cry into his chest for as long as I needed. When exhaustion took place over sadness, I turned away and curled up on the bed.
Dominic laid beside me, pulling the covers over both of us before enveloping his large arm around my shoulders and pulling my back into his chest.
I went rigid against him. Feeling both comforted by the warm body and angry at whose it belonged to, but I didn’t pull away.
When I woke, I was still cradled into his chest. A heavy leg draped over my hips possessively, trapping me against him. An uncomfortable numbness settled into my bones where his leg laid and I attempted to push the appendage away.
An arm fell from my shoulder and across my face, suffocating me as I thrashed. My muffled voice called out his name until he rolled over.
"Good morning, sunshine." He stretched happily, like he’d never slept so good.
Now free, I scurried for the door. His scent lingering on my skin in the damp morning breeze. I saw the bunkhouse door was ajar and the room empty as I passed. Julien sat alone by the fire and I took a seat next to him, ready to forget Dominic and test our new found friendship.
"Where’s Jax and Marek?"
He looked uncomfortable, and I wondered if it was from my proximity.
"They, uh, they’re out hunting."
It wasn’t odd for them to be out hunting in the early morning hour, but something felt odd about the way he said it.
"Dominic told me you were the one to find him, that you buried Grayson?"
His discomfort grew, and I wondered how mangled Grayson’s body must have appeared to cause such a reaction.
’Yeah, I...I’m. I’m sorry, Rebel."
I relaxed a little and placed my hand on his bicep. "Don’t be. I should be thanking you all. Everyone tried telling me how bad of a guy he was. I just couldn’t see it at the time, with the bond and all."
I wished I hadn’t said it, yet I had. I wanted to believe my words, but it felt like a lie had struck me in my heart.
"Still, I know how you felt about him."
Sympathy touched his features and suddenly our roles were reversed. It occurred to me then that my feeling’s for Julien had always been shadowed by feelings for another. I had chosen Grayson over him, then I chose Dominic over him as well.
"Speaking of bonds, how are you feeling about Dominic?"
I shrugged, "the same way that I felt about Grayson. Like I have no control over myself. Like I have no choice."
I wasn’t sure if it was a good thing to be so honest with Julien, but I couldn’t stop myself. I wanted to share my burden with someone, and his kindness had always comforted me.
"I’m also afraid."
He cocked his head, "we won’t let anything happen to you." He said it so matter-of-factly.
"Its all of you that I’m afraid of. Dominic especially, and the power he holds over me."
As if summoned, Dominic rounded the corner from his hut and joined us by the fire. Julien didn’t say anything about my confession, Dominic’s presence effectively ending our conversation.
Within the hour, Marek and Jax returned empty handed and worn out. Jax plopped down at my feet, leaning his back against my knees.
Marek filled a bowl to the brim with scrambled eggs and took his seat next to Dominic.
"Do you know what you want to do today, little bird?" Marek asked before shoveling spoonfuls of food into his mouth.
The idea of choosing something as simple as what I would do with my day gave me a burst of energy.
I thought about all of the things I could do, the beach being the top contender. And I thought of all the things I wanted to do. Grayson turned over in my mind, but I doubted a stroll to his grave would be acceptable to the others.
I needed something to give me an excuse to sneak away. I had to see for myself if Grayson was really there.
It wasn’t that I didn’t believe Julien. It just didn’t feel possible that Grayson was really gone and maybe seeing his grave would offer some peace.
The connection between him and I was severed but the grief I felt was for the lost bond and didn’t hold the same heaviness that it should for his death. I could be in shock still, I thought. Even more reason to find him for myself.
"Weeell," I tested. "You guys could teach me how to hunt."
They all shared dubious looks, smiles spreading like wildfire.