Chapter 248 - You Know Now
Jason spotted Roxie before she reached the table.
"Roxie!"
He slid out of the booth so quickly that his knee struck the bottom of the table. Cynthia caught his drink before it tipped while Jason ran across the restaurant and wrapped both arms around Roxie’s waist.
Roxie froze for half a second.
Then she held him.
She had missed the weight of him crashing into her without warning. She had missed his hair rubbing against her chin and the way he hugged with his whole body instead of his arms.
"You took forever," Jason complained into her shirt.
"I’m three minutes late."
"That’s still late."
Roxie smiled as he pulled her toward the booth. Cynthia watched them with the same soft expression she had worn before leaving the bungalow.
They had spoken several times since Cynthia’s visit, though most of the messages were short. Roxie answered without mentioning how often she stared at the screen before typing.
Mr. Robinson never appeared in the messages.
Cynthia had kept her word.
Jason climbed into the booth and pushed a paper menu toward Roxie.
"I already know what I’m getting."
"Then why are you holding the menu?"
"I’m looking at the pictures."
"You’re seven. You can read."
"Pictures are faster."
Roxie sat across from him, beside Cynthia. Her State medal rested inside her purse because Jason had asked her to bring it. He started talking before Roxie had removed her jacket.
He told her about a boy in his class who cried because someone erased part of his drawing. Then he explained a video he watched about a shark that could bite through metal. Before Roxie could ask what kind of metal, he changed the subject and told her Cynthia had shown him the championship pictures.
"You were really high."
"That was Karen."
"You were holding her."
"That’s what bases do."
"Did you almost drop her?"
"No."
"Mom said you practiced a lot."
"We did."
"Can I see the medal?"
Roxie opened her purse and handed it to him.
Jason held it with both hands, staring at the front before flipping it over. He traced the lettering with one finger, then put the ribbon around his neck.
"This is heavy."
"I had to carry it all night."
Jason tried sliding part of the medal into the pocket of his jeans. It disappeared halfway before becoming stuck.
"It fits."
"The ribbon is hanging out."
"That’s fine."
Cynthia reached across the table and removed it before Jason bent the clasp.
"Give Roxie her medal before you break it."
"I wasn’t breaking it."
"You put it in your pocket."
"That was keeping it safe."
Roxie laughed and took it from Cynthia.
Jason leaned over the table. "Show me the pictures."
Roxie opened her phone and gave it to him.
He scrolled slowly at first, asking who each girl was even though he had met most of them. He stopped on a picture of Kendall holding the trophy and asked why she looked angry.
"She was crying."
"She looks mad."
"She cries like that."
Jason continued scrolling until the server came to take their orders. Jason placed Roxie’s phone on the table and pointed at her before the woman could leave.
"She won State."
The server smiled. "Did she?"
"In cheerleading. She throws people."
"I don’t throw them," Roxie said.
"You throw them up." Jason looked at the server. "She’s my babysitter."
The word made something inside Roxie tighten.
The server congratulated her before moving toward another table.
Jason picked up her phone again and returned to the pictures as though he had said nothing unusual.
Babysitter.
That was what she had always been to him. The girl who came to the house when his parents were busy. The person who made his dinner, checked his homework, and stayed until Cynthia and Mr. Robinson returned.
Roxie had loved him through all of it without knowing he belonged to her in another way.
Cynthia looked at her.
Roxie lowered her eyes before Cynthia could ask anything.
Jason continued talking through lunch. He complained that his fries were shorter than Roxie’s, so she traded plates with him. He told Cynthia he wanted a second drink, then claimed he never said it when she reminded him he barely touched the first.
When Roxie became quiet, Cynthia never pushed.
She let Jason fill the space.
After lunch, they walked to a park several blocks away. Jason ran ahead as soon as he saw the playground, then turned and waved both arms.
"Come on!"
"We just ate," Roxie called.
"That doesn’t matter."
"It will when you throw up."
"I won’t."
He ran toward the swings before she could answer.
Roxie followed him while Cynthia chose a bench near the playground. The afternoon was cool enough that Roxie kept her jacket on, though Jason threw his onto the bench after less than a minute.
He climbed onto a swing and ordered Roxie to push him higher.
"You’re already high enough."
"I can still see the ground."
"That’s usually how swings work."
"Higher."
Roxie pushed him again.
Jason laughed as the swing rose. He had made the same sound when he was three, though his feet had barely reached past the edge of the seat then.
Roxie remembered the first time she watched him alone. He had called her Woxie for nearly a month because he struggled with the R. He followed her around the house carrying a plastic dinosaur and cried when she went to the bathroom without him.
She remembered him falling asleep against her chest while a cartoon played. His body had been small enough that she carried him upstairs without waking him.
There had been tantrums over the wrong cup, scraped knees, unfinished vegetables, and nights when he refused to sleep until Roxie checked beneath the bed for monsters.
She had known him at three, four, five, six, and now seven.
Every memory had changed without changing at all.
He had always been her brother.
"Roxie!"
She blinked.
Jason dragged his feet across the ground until the swing slowed.
"You stopped."
"My arms are tired."
"You held Karen."
"Karen doesn’t demand this many pushes."
He jumped from the swing and ran toward the playground structure.
"Race you!"
"You already started!"
"That means I’m winning."
Roxie chased him anyway.
Jason reached the ladder first and climbed quickly, looking over his shoulder to make sure Roxie followed. He crawled through a plastic tunnel, then stopped at the top of the slide.
"You have to go first."
"Why?"
"To see if it’s safe."
"You’ve been on this slide before."
"It could’ve changed."
Roxie sat and pushed herself down. Jason followed close enough that his shoes struck her back when she reached the bottom.
"Personal space," she complained.
"You were too slow."
He ran toward the steps again.
Roxie watched him go, then looked toward Cynthia.
Cynthia sat on the bench holding Jason’s jacket. Her eyes moved between Roxie and her son, waiting without calling either of them over.
She knew.
Roxie had told Cynthia during lunch that she might speak to Jason that day. She had never promised because every time Roxie planned the words, they felt wrong.
Jason appeared at the top of the slide again.
"Why are you staring at me?"
"I’m thinking."
"About what?"
"You."
His face became worried immediately.
"Am I in trouble?"
"No."
"Did Mom tell you about the vase?"
Cynthia sat straighter on the bench.
"What vase?"
Jason looked toward her, then back at Roxie.
"Nothing."
Roxie almost laughed, but the pressure inside her chest had returned.
"Come here."
Jason came down the slide instead of using the stairs. Roxie moved toward a smaller bench beside the playground and sat. Jason stood in front of her, picking at a loose thread near his sleeve.
Cynthia started rising from the other bench.
Roxie shook her head slightly.
Cynthia sat again.
Jason noticed the exchange.
"Is it bad?"
"No." Roxie reached for his hand. "I just need to tell you something."
"Okay."
"You know Mr. Robinson is your dad?"
Jason stared at her.
"Yeah."
Roxie almost smiled. "Right."
"You know that."
"I know."
"Then why are you asking?"
"Because he’s my dad too."
Jason stopped picking at his sleeve.
He looked at Roxie’s face, then toward Cynthia. Cynthia nodded once.
Jason looked back at Roxie.
"So you’re my sister?"
Her throat tightened.
"Yeah."
He stared for several seconds.
Roxie waited for fear, anger, or another question she would struggle to answer.
Jason frowned as he worked through it.
"Did Dad forget to tell you?"
Cynthia looked down at Jason’s jacket.
Roxie rubbed her thumb over the back of his hand.
"He didn’t forget. The adults made some bad decisions, and they kept the truth hidden for a long time."
"Why?"
"It’s complicated."
Jason waited for more.
Roxie had no answer simple enough for him. She could tell him about Claire’s threats, Mr. Robinson’s fear, the money, and eighteen years of silence. None of it would explain why the adults had allowed two children to love each other without knowing they were family.
"They thought keeping it secret was better," Roxie said. "They were wrong."
Jason accepted that more easily than she expected. "Wait, can you still babysit me?"
Roxie stared at him. "Yeah."
He thought for a moment. "I really hate that old woman who watched me last weekend."
Roxie laughed. She thought about going back to babysit him. She could picture the Robinson kitchen and Mr. Robinson walking into the room. She could already feel the anger, grief, and need fighting inside her.
"I’m going to find ways to see you," she said. "We can go play outside."
Then he wrapped both arms around her neck. "Okay. I like to go to the mall nest time. The ice cream was really yummy."
Roxie held him tightly.
She had hugged him hundreds of times. After scraped knees, nightmares, tantrums, and days when he became tired enough to cry over nothing.
She had held her brother every time.
The thought broke through her.
Roxie pressed her face into his hair and started crying.
Jason pulled back.
"Why are you crying?"
Roxie stared at him. "Because I love you too much."
"I love you too." The answer was easy for him.
He had no eighteen years to take apart. He had no money to trace, lies to replay, or reasons to wonder who had failed him. Yesterday, Roxie had been his babysitter. Today, she was his sister.
"Can I tell people at school?"
Roxie glanced toward Cynthia.
Cynthia gave no answer for her.
"Maybe give me a little time first," Roxie said.
"How much?"
"I don’t know."
"A week?"
"Maybe longer."
"Two weeks?"
"Jason."
"Fine." He thought again. "Can I call you my sister when nobody from school is here?"
Roxie smiled.
"Yes."
His entire face brightened.
"Okay, sister."
The word made her cry again.
Jason groaned.
"Again?"
"Go play."
He ran toward the playground, then turned near the ladder.
"Come on, Roxie!"
He stopped himself.
"Come on, sis!"
Several parents nearby looked toward them.
Roxie covered her face for a moment before laughing and chasing him.
Jason made her climb through the tunnel twice and race him down separate slides. When Roxie accused him of starting early, he claimed younger brothers were allowed to cheat.
Cynthia stood and came closer to her. The two of them stood still as Jason kept on playing as if nothing stange have happened.
"You seeing Jason stays separate from whatever happens between you and your father. You can visit when Daniel is away. We can meet outside the house. Jason can spend time with you when you want."
Roxie looked toward Jason.
"What about you?"
"What about me?"
Cynthia touched her hand.
"I want you in our life. Helping you see Jason isn’t a burden. Seeing you isn’t a burden."
Roxie let the words remain without arguing.
Jason returned several minutes later with dirt on both knees and his hair stuck to his forehead. He dropped onto the bench between them and leaned immediately against Roxie’s side.
"I’m tired."
Roxie placed one arm around him and kissed the top of his head.
Jason stayed quiet for a moment before speaking again.
"I’m glad it’s you came back. I really missed you."
Roxie held him closer.
For once, the truth had given her something instead of taking it away.