Chapter 247 - Cynthia Came
Roxie had been moving through television channels for nearly twenty minutes without watching anything.
The State trophy sat on the table beside the television, turned so the lettering faced the couch. Every time the screen changed, light moved across the gold figure on top and pulled Roxie’s attention back toward it.
They had won yesterday.
She still had trouble believing it.
Her body hurt everywhere. Her thighs tightened whenever she shifted beneath the blanket, and her shoulders ached from holding stunts through the final routine. Zac had gone out for food after complaining that she had eaten almost nothing since breakfast. Roxie told him she wanted fries, then added nuggets and a milkshake while he stood near the door acting like every new item offended him.
The bungalow felt quiet after he left.
She should have gone with him, everytime the silence is too much - it left her with more time to think. Thinking about her life, choices and people around her made her feel like being a champion was a luck in a sea of misfortunes.
Roxie opened the team chat again.
They have gone viral overnight. The VCU was thundering with counts for their final routines. Watching it made her feel incredible. The comments keeps on feeding her ego as well.
Briarwick is the new queen of pyramids.
Holy crap they are so in sync with each other so amazing.
Angela had sent another set of championship pictures. Most of them had already appeared online, but the parents kept adding their own. Ava stood beside her mother holding flowers.
Roxie stopped on one photograph showing several parents gathered behind the team.
Cynthia and Jason could have been there.
The thought had followed her home from the championship. Before Mr. Robinson told the truth, Cynthia would have found a way to attend. She would have packed snacks Roxie never asked for and brought medicine in case anyone developed a headache. Jason would have complained about sitting through other teams, then shouted until his throat hurt when Briarwick’s name was announced.
Mr. Robinson would have recorded everything.
They could have stood in the crowd while pretending Roxie was only Jason’s babysitter.
The lie would have remained, but they would have been there. At least she could have pretended someone cared about her enough.
Someone knocked on the front door.
Roxie looked toward the driveway through the window, expecting Zac to have forgotten the key card.
A dark SUV sat near the road. A car she knew so well.
Her body went tense.
The knock came again, softer this time.
Roxie pushed the blanket from her legs and crossed the living room. She checked the window beside the door before opening it.
Cynthia stood on the porch.
Roxie stayed inside the doorway. Her heart pounding. What is she doing here? Is she going to yell at her?
"Roxie, I know your home. Open this door."
"Mr. Robinson isn’t here." She said at last.
"I know. I came for you."
Roxie rested her back at the door contemplating of jumping out the window and running away from here. Should she? She can open it dive out and be out in seconds. But that would only mean she’d be delaying their talk.
"Does he know you’re here?"
"No."
That made Roxie peek at her again.
Cynthia had dressed simply in jeans and a dark sweater. Her hair was pulled back, and there was no makeup around her eyes. She looked as though she had spent the drive deciding whether to turn around. In her hand is a bouquet of flowers and a box of cake.
Roxie hid again, tears welling up her eyes. The relief she felt was gut-wrenching.
"I saw the pictures," Cynthia said through the door. "Congratulations."
Roxie glanced toward the trophy, sitting in the kitchen table.
"Can I come in?"
Roxie gripped her phone. She should tell Zac to hurry up. She hesitated before moving away from the door.
She opened the door and Cynthia smiled softly. The same smile she gave Roxie when she gave her that dress. The same smile she give her when she tells her to be careful of boys.
Her throat tightened as tears threatened to fall down. She turned around to wipe them fast. "Come in." Her throat hurt.
Cynthia entered carefully, as though she expected Roxie to change her mind. She placed the cake and flowers on the kitchen counter before looking around then toward the trophy.
For several seconds, she said nothing.
Then her eyes filled.
"I’m sorry we missed it."
Roxie kept her arms around herself. Cynthia had brought flowers and cake, but that didn’t mean she planned to stay. This could be her way of congratulating Roxie before ending whatever they had been before the truth came out.
"You knew it was happening."
"I did."
"Then why didn’t you come?"
Cynthia looked down at her hands. "Everything changed so quickly. I didn’t know whether seeing us there would upset you. You weren’t answering your father, and I thought showing up might make you feel trapped."
"Your husband."
Cynthia’s mouth tightened. "Yes."
Roxie looked toward the television, though she had no idea what was playing. She could feel Cynthia watching her and hated how quickly her eyes began burning again.
"I looked for you."
Cynthia lifted her head. "You did?"
"Before we performed. During the awards." Roxie swallowed, but her throat still hurt. "I kept thinking maybe you were somewhere in the crowd... like you always did."
Cynthia’s face changed.
"I thought you wanted us away from you."
"I wanted him away."
The answer came out before Roxie could make it sound less desperate.
Cynthia stared at her.
"You didn’t do anything."
"No, but I’m his wife."
"I know." Roxie looked away so she could not see the answer in her eyes. "Do you hate me?"
The question had been burning in her mind.
"No."
She can’t stop the tear from falling from her eyes. Cynthia’s face blurred in her vision as relief flooded her chest.
"Are you here to tell me I can’t come back?"
Cynthia went still.
"To your house," Roxie continued. "Are you going to tell me to stay away from Jason?"
"No."
"Really?"
"I’ve been thinking about it all week."
"And?"
"And I wanted to see you."
"Why?"
The word came out sharper than Roxie meant. She’s scared to hope.
Cynthia moved toward her, then stopped when Roxie stepped back.
"Because I care about you."
"You cared about the babysitter."
"I told you hundreds of times, you were more than that."
Roxie closed her eyes to control her emotions.
’You’re family.’ Cynthia have said that enough times that Roxie have thought of them that as well.
"I’ve always liked you. In hindsight, I think I might have suspected something. The way Daniel had always been curious of you and wanted you near us should have been suspicious."
"Aren’t you angry?" Roxie swallowed hard. "Of me? Of him?"
"You were lied to." Cynthia chuckled, crying as well. "I am angry of him but not you."
"You have a family. I came into it without even knowing. Now everything is fucked up, and you have to deal with me because he decided to tell the truth eighteen years late."
"I don’t have to deal with you."
Roxie flinched.
Cynthia moved closer immediately.
"That came out wrong. Roxie, look at me."
Roxie kept her eyes on the floor.
"I’m not here because your father asked me to come. He doesn’t know I’m here. I came because I wanted to."
"You might only feel guilty."
"I do feel guilty."
Roxie gave a short, bitter laugh.
"But that isn’t why I care about you," Cynthia continued. "I’m worried about you. And ashamed I didn’t come to the biggest event in your life."
Roxie finally looked at her.
Cynthia pointed toward the couch. "Can we sit?"
Roxie hesitated before moving to the far end. She pulled the blanket across her lap while Cynthia sat several feet away.
For a few seconds, neither of them spoke.
Roxie looked at the flowers on the counter. They were red and white, close enough to Briarwick’s colors that Cynthia must have chosen them deliberately.
"Does Jason know?"
"No."
"Did you tell him I’m not coming back?"
"I told him something serious happened and you needed time."
"Does he ask about me?"
"Every day."
The answer hurt enough that Roxie’s hand tightened around the blanket.
"What do you tell him?"
"That you’re busy."
"So you’re lying to him too."
"For now."
"Why?"
"Because your father wanted to tell him immediately, and I stopped him."
Roxie looked at her.
Cynthia continued before she could ask.
"It should come from you too. You should decide when Jason learns it. Nobody gave you a choice before. I won’t take this one."
Roxie’s eyes burned.
"He might hate me."
"He won’t."
"You don’t know that."
"I know my son. You know your brother."
Roxie couldn’t stop the sobs as she bent her head down. She missed Jason. She missed Cynthia. She missed that bastard father of hers. She missed sitting down in the kitchen as Cynthia cooked dinner, Jason showing her how cool is his lego sword that definitely didn’t look like a sword and Mr. Robinson checking on her life.
She just wanted that back.
She wanted it so bad.
She cried harder as she felt Cynthia’s arm on her pulling her tightly. Roxie sobbed on her chest. The warmth of her body made everything in her chest lift up. The smell of cinnamon still on her shirt made her cry harder.
"You are Roxie. The girl who took care of my son. The girl who sat at my table and pretended she wasn’t hungry. The girl I worried about every time she walked home alone. Finding out you are his daughter does not erase the person I already knew."
"You might look at me and only see him now." She said brokenly.
"I see you." She pulled away and wiped her tears.
Roxie clenched her hands. The nails digging deep into her palms. "You might start thinking I’m another responsibility."
"I was already worried about you before I knew I had any connection to you."
"You don’t have a connection to me."
"I want one."
Roxie stared at her.
The fear inside her had been waiting for Cynthia to say the opposite. It had prepared for anger, blame, or a polite goodbye. It had not prepared for Cynthia to choose her after learning the truth.
"Did you know when you gave me the dress?" Roxie asked.
"No."
"When you packed food for me?"
"No."
"When you kept asking if I got home?"
"No."
"You never did any of it because he told you to?"
Cynthia shook her head. "He never had to tell me to care about you."
Roxie looked down before Cynthia could see her face break again.
"Then why did you treat me like that?"
"Because you walked into my house exhausted and acted like you were fine. Because you always made sure Jason ate before you did. Because you were patient with him even when he was being unbearable." Cynthia let out a small, sad laugh. "I told you the truth, you are family Roxie."
She smiled. "Thank you for everything you did for me."
Cynthia laughed and ruffled her hair. "Should have known by that time. I’ve always thought you got the same hair as Annie."
"Annie?"
"Your father’s grandma. You got her strong and kind personality too."
’I’m not kind."
Cynthia smiled. "I might have suspected something when you first came in the house but a marriage is built on trust. I trusted Daniel to tell me if that were the truth." Cynthia smiled sadly. "Sadly, he failed."
"I’m sorry."
Cynthia shook her head. "It’s not your fault, Roxie. Never your fault."
Roxie sat straighter wiping her tear. "What happens now?"
"How about we start with a dinner tomorrow?"
"Is he coming?"
Cynthia smiled and took her hand. "I’ll make sure Daniel stays home, scrubbing the toilet. Take your time to forgive him and understand him but that doesn’t mean you need to cut Jason off your life. Or me."
Roxie smiled, her heart feeling a lot lighter now.