Chapter 89: You Are Carrying Too Much
He turned slightly, and with a movement that was surprisingly graceful for something so massive, he shifted his body to create a sheltered alcove against his side, a space that Morgana had claimed many times before.
"Come," he said. "Rest against me. Release what you have been holding, and tell me what troubles you so deeply that you would risk discovery to come here."
Morgana moved into the space he had created, settling herself against the warmth of his massive body. His scales were smooth and warm against her back, and the simple act of being held...even in this unconventional way, caused something in her to break open.
At first, she couldn’t speak.
She simply sat there, pressed against Atheris’s warm scales, feeling the rise and fall of his breathing, the steady thrum of his heartbeat. For several long moments, she just existed in his presence, allowing the tension to drain from her body, allowing the desperate clawing need for freedom to settle enough that she could articulate it.
Then the words came.
They poured out of her like water released from behind a breaking dam....uncontrolled, desperate, raw with emotion.
"They haven’t called for me," she said, her voice breaking slightly. "The kings. It’s been days, Atheris. Days since I’ve seen any of them. And I don’t understand why. At first, they seemed interested. They looked at me in ways that felt meaningful. Draeven almost summoned me to dance at the ball. But then nothing. Silence. And now there’s this rumor that one of them had some kind of incident. That he lost control. That he transformed involuntarily and couldn’t stop it."
She paused, breathing heavily, her chest rising and falling with the force of her emotion.
"I don’t know which one," she continued. "I don’t know if he’s hurt. I don’t know what it means. And I can’t ask anyone because apparently the whole thing is so serious that the palace has ordered complete silence about it. Anyone caught spreading rumors will be punished."
Atheris was listening, his massive body completely still, his golden eyes watching her with an attention that was almost overwhelming.
"The palace itself has become strange," Morgana went on. "There’s this weight in the air. I’m locked in the stables doing the same work day after day, and the world is changing around me. I don’t understand what the kings want or why they’ve abandoned me."
Her voice had become sharp with hurt and frustration.
"And the noble daughters," she said, anger entering her tone. "They’re terrible, Atheris. They’re cruel in ways that seem almost calculated. They mock the servants. They treat people as less than human. There’s one especially....Isolde, who seems to have made a personal project out of tormenting me. She looks at me like I’m something she needs to destroy. And I don’t know why. I haven’t done anything to her. I’m just a servant girl. Why does she hate me so much?"
She was breathing hard now, weeks of suppressed emotion pouring out of her.
"And I have to hide everything," she continued, her voice becoming almost desperate. "I have to hide what I am. Every moment of every day, I’m aware of the weight of that hiding. My magic is building inside me with nowhere to go. I can feel it pressing against the inside of my skin, demanding to be released, demanding to be expressed. But I can’t. Because if anyone discovered what I could do, if anyone found out what I really am..."
She didn’t finish the sentence. They both understood what it would mean.
"The stables are the only place I can be myself," she said more quietly. "The horses don’t judge me. They respond to me with kindness and openness that no human in the palace has ever shown. Shadowmere especially....he seems to understand something about me that no one else does. And even that small freedom is being threatened. There’s someone watching the stables now. A stranger. A watcher. Someone’s been placed there to observe, though I don’t know why."
She fell silent finally, exhausted by the effort of unleashing everything she had been holding back.
For a long time, Atheris simply held her, his massive body warm and solid against her back, his presence somehow containing and holding all of her fear and anger and confusion.
"You are carrying too much," he said finally, his voice resonating through his massive body and into hers. "You are young. You should not have to bear this weight alone."
"But I am alone," Morgana said, and the bleakness in her voice was almost unbearable. "I’m alone in the palace. I’m alone in the city. I’m alone with what I am. The only place I’m not alone is here with you."
"That is not entirely true," Atheris said. "But I understand why it feels that way."
He shifted slightly, and his voice took on a different quality...something more intent, more focused.
"Tell me about the ancient dragons," he said. "Tell me about what happened when you visited them in the tower."
Morgana’s breath caught.
She hadn’t expected him to know about that. How could he possibly know when she hasn’t even mentioned it?
But even as the question formed, she understood. Atheris was connected to things in ways she didn’t fully comprehend. He was aware of her in a way that transcended distance and time. Of course he would know. Of course he would sense when she had been near the ancient dragons.
"How did you know?" she asked, her voice small.
"I will answer your questions when I can," Atheris said, and there was patience in his tone. "But for now, tell me. What happened? What did you experience when you were near them?"
Morgana gathered her courage and began to speak.
"It was during the first days after I arrived at the stables," she said. "The stable master told me about where they were kept and i decided to go there out of curiosity and I ended up in the old wing, in the tower where they keep..." She paused, searching for the right words. "Where they keep them. The ancient dragons."