The Laziest God Mortal Reincarnation

Luckily, Lyssairia’s last lesson wasn’t physical training.

Which was fortunate, because I was fairly certain another few hours of her version of ’education’ would have resulted in my body filing an official complaint against me.

Instead, I found myself sitting at the same small table inside her house, my pillow comfortably resting across my lap while Lyssairia stood on the opposite side.

Between us was a map.

A very large map.

Lines of black ink crossed forests, mountains, rivers, and settlements I had never heard of. Several paths had been marked in red, while others had been violently crossed out.

I stared at it for several seconds.

Then I looked up at her.

"This is much better."

Lyssairia’s eyes narrowed.

"We haven’t started yet."

"You’re not holding a weapon."

"Do you need me to get one?"

"No."

I immediately looked back down.

"The map is fascinating."

Her tail flicked once behind her.

"Thought so."

She placed one finger against the northern section of the map.

"You leave from here."

Her claw traced a thin path through a large stretch of forest.

"Nyra will decide the exact route depending on patrol movements, but this is approximately where you’ll travel for the first several days."

I followed her finger.

The route twisted through the forest rather than following any of the roads.

"Why avoid the roads completely?"

"Because roads have patrols."

"Reasonable."

"Checkpoints."

"Also reasonable."

"Soldiers who might notice the human child traveling with three beastkin."

"Less convenient."

"Exactly."

Her finger continued south.

"You’ll move mostly at night."

I frowned.

"I was informed."

"And sleep during the day."

I looked up immediately.

"Maybe I judged this journey too harshly."

"Don’t get excited. You’ll sleep whenever Nyra decides it’s safe."

My enthusiasm disappeared.

"Of course, there was a condition."

"There is always a condition when survival is involved."

"I prefer conditions involving pillows."

"Your enemies probably won’t care."

"They’re very inconsiderate people."

Lyssairia ignored me.

"Listen carefully, Al. This isn’t training anymore."

Something about her tone changed.

The dry irritation remained, but underneath it was something more serious.

I straightened slightly.

"If Nyra tells you to run, you run."

I nodded.

"If Caelum tells you to get behind him, you do it immediately."

Another nod.

"If Vessa tells you not to touch something—"

"I definitely don’t touch it."

Lyssairia paused.

"Good."

"She looks exactly like the type of person who would place traps around her own camp for entertainment."

"She has."

I stared at her.

"You’re joking."

"No."

Of course she wasn’t.

Lyssairia moved her finger farther down the map.

"Most importantly, don’t argue with them when something goes wrong."

I slowly raised my eyes.

"I don’t argue that much."

She stared at me.

I stared back.

Neither of us spoke.

"...Fine. Continue."

"If they give you an order during danger, follow it first and complain afterward."

"That seems restrictive."

"Al."

"Follow first. Complain later. Understood."

"Good."

She tapped another point on the map.

"If everything goes according to plan, you’ll eventually reach this river."

A thick blue line divided the region.

"Crossing it puts you close to the contested zone. Human patrols become more common from there."

I leaned closer.

"So once we reach that point, we’re safer?"

"No."

I leaned back.

"You really have a talent for destroying optimism."

"Once you reach that point, beastkin patrols become less dangerous to you."

She paused.

"Your own people become more dangerous to your escorts."

Ah.

Right.

I looked down at the map again.

A human child traveling with three armed beastkin during a war.

That could become complicated very quickly.

"What exactly am I supposed to do when we encounter human soldiers?"

"Talk."

I blinked.

"That’s your grand strategy?"

"You’re the human."

"An excellent observation."

"You’re also the son of Duke Vortex."

My thoughts stopped.

I slowly lifted my head from the map.

"What did you just say?"

Lyssairia’s finger remained on the route.

"I said you’re the son of Duke Vortex."

"I heard what you said."

"Then why did you ask?"

"Because you shouldn’t know that."

Her finger stopped moving.

For the first time since this lesson started, she looked slightly uncomfortable.

Only slightly.

But after spending an entire week around her, I had learned to recognize the tiny movements of her ears and tail.

And right now, both were telling me she didn’t want to answer.

I narrowed my eyes.

"Lyssairia."

She sighed.

"My mother told us."

I blinked.

"Your mother?"

"Yes."

"Mia told you my full identity?"

"She told the faction leaders."

My eyes narrowed further.

"What exactly did she tell you?"

Lyssairia looked away.

That was not reassuring.

"Lyssairia."

"Your name."

"And?"

Another pause.

"Your family."

"And?"

Her tail flicked irritably.

"Your potential."

I froze.

My potential?

Mia knew about my SSS potential?

How?

I had never told her.

I had never told anyone here.

Actually...

I hadn’t even told most people at the border.

My identity could perhaps be discovered somehow. Maybe Mia had recognized the Vortex family name from something I had said, although I couldn’t remember ever giving it to her.

But my potential?

That was different.

There was no way she should have known that.

Unless—

I went completely still.

Something old surfaced from the back of my memory.

A flat piece of stone.

Cold beneath my fingers.

Runes carved across its surface.

My name.

My potential.

My core.

My status.

The stone slate.

My eyes widened.

"Oh."

Lyssairia frowned.

"What?"

I didn’t answer.

My attention had already shifted toward my storage ring.

The slate was still inside.

Buried somewhere among potions, books, clothes, supplies, and everything else I had accumulated over the last two years.

I had almost forgotten the thing existed.

No.

I had forgotten it existed.

The first and last time I’d properly used it was more than two years ago, around the time of my awakening.

After that, there had simply been no reason.

Why would I need a stone slate to check my own information when I had the System?

Whenever I wanted to know my stats, core, attributes, skills, or anything else about myself, all I had to do was summon my status.

The slate had become completely useless to me.

So I had tossed it into my storage ring and forgotten about it.

But Mia...

Mia had gone through my storage ring.

I remembered her taking my things.

Checking what I carried.

Making sure I wasn’t hiding anything dangerous.

At the time, I hadn’t cared much.

Most of what I carried was harmless.

Potions.

Books.

Clothes.

My pillow.

Supplies.

And one little stone slate I hadn’t thought about in years.

A slate that displayed exactly who I was.

Alash Vortex.

Son of Duke Vortex.

SSS potential.

I stared blankly at the map.

"You have got to be kidding me."

"What?"

I ignored Lyssairia.

Everything from that first meeting suddenly rearranged itself inside my head.

The leaders had agreed to help me far too easily.

I had noticed it even then.

I had entered that meeting prepared to bargain.

Prepared to explain why returning me to human territory could benefit them.

Prepared, if necessary, to reveal my identity.

And if that wasn’t enough...

My SSS potential.

Those had been my two strongest bargaining pieces.

Except I had never gotten the chance to use either of them.

The leaders had already been strangely receptive.

They had agreed to provide escorts.

They had agreed to help me cross beastkin territory.

They had been willing to risk some of their best people to return one human child to his own side of the war.

And all week, I had wondered what Mia had told them before I entered that room.

Now I knew.

Everything.

Well...

Not everything.

She didn’t know about the System.

She didn’t know about the Akashic Record.

She certainly didn’t know I had once been a celestial.

But she knew the two things that mattered most to the leaders.

I wasn’t some random human child.

I was the son of one of the most powerful nobles in the human kingdom.

And I possessed SSS potential.

Suddenly, their decision made perfect sense.

Helping an unknown human child was charity.

Helping the son of Duke Vortex return home safely was politics.

Helping the son of Duke Vortex who also possessed SSS potential?

That was an investment.

My eye twitched.

That woman.

She had sat through the entire meeting knowing exactly who I was.

She had watched me carefully choose my words.

Watched me wonder why everyone was cooperating.

Watched me prepare arguments I never even needed.

And she hadn’t said a single thing.

I remembered the faint satisfaction in her golden eyes at the end of that meeting.

My eye twitched again.

Mia.

That irritating, secretive—

A finger flicked my forehead.

"Ow!"

I recoiled and immediately covered the spot.

"What was that for?"

"You’re not listening."

Lyssairia stood over the map, staring at me.

"I was thinking."

"You stopped responding."

"That’s generally what happens when people think."

"You can think about my mother’s questionable decisions later."

I lowered my hand.

"Questionable?"

"Al."

"She secretly inspected my personal information."

"Al."

"Then told three faction leaders without asking me."

"Al."

"Do beastkin not have a concept of privacy?"

Lyssairia leaned across the table.

Her golden eyes narrowed.

"Focus."

I opened my mouth.

She pointed toward the map.

"Human territory."

I closed my mouth.

For several seconds, I stared at her.

Then at the map.

Then back at her.

"...I’m going to complain about this later."

"I assumed you would."

"Extensively."

"I assumed that too."

"And I’m speaking to Mia before I leave."

"If you can find her."

I narrowed my eyes.

That was exactly the problem I’d had all week.

Lyssairia’s lips twitched.

Infuriating family.

I sighed and looked back down at the map.