The Laziest God Mortal Reincarnation

The meeting room looked exactly as I remembered it.

Same round wooden table.

Same root-covered walls.

Same warm lanterns.

Same three faction leaders sitting across from me as if they were about to decide the fate of an entire nation instead of whether a twelve-year-old human could make it home without being murdered on the way.

There was, however, one important difference.

I was considerably more damaged than the last time I had sat here.

I lowered myself carefully into the chair opposite them, suppressing a grimace when nearly every muscle in my body protested at once.

My pillow rested against my chest.

Liora Burrow was the first to speak.

The rabbit faction leader smiled gently at me, her long ears shifting slightly above her chestnut-and-silver hair.

"So, Al," she said warmly, "how was your week?"

I stared at her.

Then I slowly turned my head toward Lyssairia.

She stood near the wall with her arms crossed, looking completely unbothered.

The woman who had spent the last six days trying to beat survival instincts into my body somehow possessed the audacity to look innocent.

I turned back toward Liora.

"Do you want the polite answer or the accurate one?"

Liora blinked.

"The accurate one."

"Alright."

I adjusted my pillow beneath my arms.

"I would have died somewhere between thirty and forty times."

Silence.

Liora’s ears shot upright.

Elaris Grove slowly raised one eyebrow.

Lyssairia didn’t move.

I continued.

"And that’s the conservative estimate."

Liora looked between us.

"Thirty to forty?"

"At least."

Lyssairia sighed. "You’re exaggerating."

I looked at her.

"You hit me in the neck."

"You were supposed to dodge."

"You also hit me in the head."

"You were supposed to dodge that too."

"And the ribs?"

"Also dodge."

I stared at her for several seconds.

"Your teaching philosophy seems unnecessarily repetitive."

"It would be less repetitive if you learned faster."

Liora covered her mouth.

Her shoulders moved.

She was laughing.

I felt betrayed.

"I nearly died."

"You did not nearly die," Lyssairia said.

"Mana Aegis is the only reason you can say that."

"Which means the training worked."

"That is not how logic works."

"It is today."

I looked back toward Liora.

"Forty-five times."

"You just said thirty to forty."

"I remembered more."

Even Elaris’s lips twitched at that.

Traitors.

Still, as much as I hated admitting it, the week hadn’t been useless.

My balance had improved.

My reactions were sharper.

I had stopped watching weapons and started watching shoulders, hips, feet, and shifts in weight.

It had been unpleasantly effective.

Before I could continue complaining, footsteps sounded beyond the door.

Lyssairia’s ears turned toward the noise.

Elaris looked toward the entrance.

Then the door opened.

And for the first time in an entire week, I saw Miarielle Veyra.

Mia stepped into the room with the same quiet presence I remembered from our journey through the forest.

Her dark clothing carried traces of dust along the hem, and her golden eyes swept across the room before settling briefly on me.

I stared at her.

She stared back.

One entire week.

One entire week of trying to find her.

And there she was.

"Mia."

"Al."

"You’re alive."

"So are you."

"Barely."

Her eyes moved toward Lyssairia.

"I can see that."

Lyssairia frowned.

"He is dramatically overstating his suffering."

"I am dramatically alive despite your efforts."

"Unfortunately."

I narrowed my eyes.

She almost smiled.

Then I noticed that Mia wasn’t alone.

Three people entered behind her.

My attention sharpened immediately.

The first was a cat beastkin woman.

She appeared to be somewhere in her twenties, with short black hair stopping just beneath her jaw and a pair of dark feline ears rising through it. A thin scar ran from beneath her left eye toward her cheekbone, giving her otherwise attractive face a permanent edge.

Two curved daggers rested at her hips.

She walked lightly.

Too lightly.

After spending a week around Lyssairia, I recognized what that meant.

Dangerous.

The second was impossible to miss.

A deer beastkin man ducked slightly beneath the doorway as he entered.

He was enormous.

Tall rather than bulky, with pale antlers branching backward from his head. His brown hair was tied behind his neck, and a long spear rested across his back.

Unlike the cat woman, he didn’t radiate aggression.

He looked calm.

Which probably meant he was extremely dangerous.

Then came the third.

A rabbit woman.

Small.

She couldn’t have been much taller than me.

Soft grey ears rose from pale blond hair tied into two short braids. Light leather covered her body, and several small pouches hung around her waist.

No visible weapon.

That immediately made me distrust her.

Her bright green eyes moved everywhere.

Table.

Windows.

Doors.

The leaders.

Me.

My storage ring.

My pillow.

Then back to me.

All within a few seconds.

She smiled when she noticed me watching.

Definitely suspicious.

Mia stopped beside them.

"These three will accompany you to human territory."

I looked at her.

"Just them?"

"Yes."

"So you’re not coming."

"No."

For some reason, I had expected that answer.

It still disappointed me slightly.

I hid it behind my pillow.

"You’re abandoning me."

"I’m sending three experienced escorts with you."

"That’s a very professional way to describe abandoning me."

Mia ignored that.

She gestured toward the cat woman.

The woman stepped forward.

"Nyra."

Her voice was short and direct.

She placed one fist lightly against her chest.

"Scout. Close combat. Infiltration."

Her golden eyes examined me.

"If something approaches us without permission, I’ll see it first."

A pause.

"If it keeps approaching, I’ll kill it."

I waited.

Apparently, that was the entire introduction.

"Efficient."

Nyra nodded once and stepped back.

The deer man came next.

Unlike Nyra, he bowed formally.

"My name is Caelum."

His voice was surprisingly gentle for someone who looked capable of carrying me under one arm without noticing.

"I serve as one of the wardens of the deer faction. My specialties are defensive combat, tracking, and long-distance travel."

He straightened.

"While you travel with us, Al, I will place your safety before my own."

I stared at him.

"Please don’t."

Caelum blinked.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Don’t die protecting me."

The room went quiet.

I shrugged.

"I’m a healer. Dead people are inconvenient."

Nyra’s eyebrow rose.

The rabbit woman’s smile widened.

Caelum studied me for a moment.

Then something softened in his expression.

"Then I will endeavor to protect you without dying."

"Much better."

Finally, the rabbit woman stepped forward.

She did not bow.

Instead, she walked directly toward me.

Stopped.

Leaned forward.

And stared.

I leaned backward.

She leaned closer.

I leaned farther backward.

"Can I help you?"

"Hmm."

Her eyes narrowed.

Then she smiled.

"You’re smaller than I expected."

I stared at her.

"You’re one to talk."

Nyra made a strange choking noise.

The rabbit woman’s smile froze for half a second.

Then she laughed.

Loudly.

"Oh, I like him."

"I haven’t decided whether I like you."

"Even better."

She extended one hand.

"Vessa. Scout, information specialist, traps, locks, negotiations, acquiring things people don’t want acquired—"

Liora cleared her throat.

Vessa glanced toward her leader.

"Legally acquiring things people don’t want acquired."

Liora stared at her.

Vessa smiled innocently.

I looked between them.

"Should I be worried?"

"Yes," Nyra said.

"Ignore her," Vessa replied. "She has no appreciation for specialized talent."

"You stole my knife this morning."

"You left it unattended."

"It was attached to my belt."

"Poorly attended."

I slowly looked toward Mia.

"These are the best people you found?"

"Yes."

"That concerns me."

"It shouldn’t."

"It does."

"I know."

Wonderful.

A silent cat assassin.

A giant deer warden.

And a rabbit thief.

Apparently, this was my escort.

Elaris finally rose from his chair.

The lighter atmosphere vanished almost immediately.

"Before you depart, there is one more matter."

He reached inside his robes.

My attention sharpened.

Elaris withdrew three envelopes.

Black.

Not dark grey.

Not deep blue.

Black.

The material didn’t resemble normal paper. It had a faint metallic sheen beneath the lantern light, almost like extremely thin leather.

Silver runes covered their edges.

They pulsed.

Slowly.

Almost like breathing.

And I could feel mana coming from them.

A lot of mana.

Elaris placed the three envelopes on the table before me.

"These are for the human leadership."

I didn’t touch them.

Liora noticed immediately.

"Something wrong?"

"Yes."

I pointed toward the envelopes.

"Those are clearly enchanted."

"They are," Elaris said.

"Good. We’re starting with honesty."

I leaned forward slightly.

The mana within the runes moved in precise patterns that I couldn’t understand.

That alone was enough reason not to casually place them inside my storage ring.

"What exactly am I carrying?"

"Letters."

I stared at Elaris.

He stared back.

Apparently deer leaders could make jokes too.

"Normal letters don’t make my mana senses scream at me."

"They are not normal letters."

"I gathered that."

I pointed toward them again.

"I would like a detailed explanation before I carry three unknown magical objects into human territory."

Elaris inclined his head.

"Reasonable."

"Can they explode?"

"No."

"Release poison?"

"No."

"Summon something?"

"No."

"Curse whoever touches them?"

"No."

"Track me?"

"No."

I narrowed my eyes.

"You’re certain?"

"Completely."

Mia spoke from beside him.

"They’re safe, Al."

That reassured me considerably more.

Not completely.

But enough.

Elaris placed two fingers beside the envelopes.

"They are diplomatic envelopes protected by an old enchantment."

I frowned.

"What does the enchantment do?"

"The contents cannot be read, altered, copied, or opened through ordinary means."

My gaze returned to the runes.

"Who can open them?"

"Only someone with a core at SS rank or above."

I froze.

"SS?"

"Yes."

That was excessive.

"Why?"

Liora answered.

"Because these letters contain information we cannot risk falling into the hands of ordinary soldiers or officers."

Her expression had grown serious.

"If you are intercepted after reaching human territory, whoever takes the letters will not simply be able to open them."

Elaris continued.

"The enchantment ensures that the messages eventually reach someone with sufficient rank and authority."

I looked at the envelopes again.

That was clever.

Anyone below SS would be forced to pass them upward.

Past normal soldiers.

Past captains.

Past most commanders.

Until they reached someone powerful enough to break the seal.

Someone important.

"That’s actually clever."

Vessa grinned.

"Rabbit invention."

Elaris looked at her.

"It was developed jointly."

"Mostly rabbit."

"No."

"History is flexible."

"Not that flexible."

I almost smiled.

Then another thought occurred to me.

"Why three?"

Liora answered first.

"One from each faction."

Rabbit.

Deer.

Cat.

I glanced toward Lyssairia.

She nodded once.

"Each contains an official statement from our faction."

Elaris continued.

"Our account of the conflict. The attacks against our people. The actions of the Tiger and Bear factions. The disappearances and forced recruitment."

Liora folded her hands.

"And our willingness to begin discussions with the human kingdom."

I looked at her.

"Peace?"

"Discussion," she corrected gently. "Peace would be premature."

"Very premature," Lyssairia said.

"But discussion must begin somewhere," Elaris added.

I stared at the envelopes.

Suddenly, they felt much heavier.

Three letters.

Three factions.

Three official testimonies from beastkin leaders.

I had spent years healing humans who believed beastkin were monsters.

Now I had spent weeks among beastkin who believed humans were monsters.

And somewhere between those two beliefs, people continued dying.

"I don’t like this."

Vessa tilted her head.

"The letters?"

"The responsibility."

No one immediately answered.

I hugged my pillow closer.

"I was supposed to go home."

Mia looked at me.

"You are going home."

"While carrying enough diplomatic information to create an international incident."

"Probably."

I stared at her.

"Probably?"

Her expression didn’t change.

I sighed.

"I miss when my biggest problem was Master Valerian making my pillow heavier."

Lyssairia crossed her arms.

"You already complained about that."

"I was justified."

"You always think you’re justified."

"Because I usually am."

"You’re not."

"See? This is exactly why I’m happy you’re staying here."

Her tail twitched.

"Keep talking and I’ll give you one final training session."

I immediately looked toward Elaris.

"Where do I sign for immediate departure?"

Liora laughed softly.

I finally reached toward the envelopes.

The moment my fingers touched the first one, I felt it.

Mana.

Dense.

Controlled.

Ancient.

The runes brightened faintly beneath my fingertips before settling again.

I pulled my hand back.

Nyra noticed.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"That looked like something."

"It felt strange."

Elaris’s gaze sharpened.

"How?"

I looked at the envelope.

"Like the enchantment noticed me."

Silence.

Elaris studied the runes.

"The seals react to mana."

"Even if I’m below SS?"

"They can detect mana without opening."

I slowly nodded.

Reasonable.

Probably.

I reached forward again and gathered all three envelopes.

Nothing exploded.

Good start.

I carefully placed them inside my storage ring.

Vessa immediately smiled.

"Well."

I looked at her.

"Now you’re carrying enough sensitive information to get murdered by multiple groups."

I stared at her.

Then at Mia.

Then at Liora.

Then Elaris.

"She is terrible at reassurance."

"She wasn’t trying to reassure you," Nyra said.

"That makes it worse."

Mia turned toward the door.

"You leave after sunset."

I blinked.

"Tonight?"

"Tonight."

"Why at night?"

"Fewer patrols. Better cover. And Nyra’s scouts move more effectively in darkness."

I glanced toward Nyra.

She smiled faintly.

It somehow made her look even more dangerous.

"Wonderful."

Mia opened the door.

"Get whatever you need ready."

I lifted my pillow slightly.

"I already have everything important."

Lyssairia stared at it.

"Of course you do."

I pushed myself carefully to my feet.

My legs still hurt.

My shoulders still hurt.

Everything still hurt.

But after one week hidden inside the refuge, I was finally leaving.

Leaving Lyssairia’s murderous training.

Leaving the strange beastkin settlement that had gone from enemy territory to something uncomfortably close to safety.

Ahead waited forests.

Patrols.

A war.

And now three enchanted diplomatic envelopes that only an SS-ranked individual could open.

I looked toward the three people who would be traveling with me.

Nyra, a silent cat assassin.

Caelum, a giant deer warden.

Vessa, a suspiciously cheerful rabbit thief.

I let out a long breath.

Somehow, I already missed Mia.

Then Lyssairia cracked her knuckles behind me.

"Al."

I turned slowly.

"What?"

"We still have several hours before sunset."

My face fell.

"No."

Her smile appeared.

Small.

Cruel.

Terrifying.

"One final lesson."

I immediately looked toward Mia.

"Help."

She stepped through the doorway.

And closed the door behind her.

I stared at it.

Betrayal.

Absolute betrayal.