Chapter 308
There are definitely people in this world born with extraordinary luck.
They are often said to be loved by the gods.
It is rather embarrassing to admit, but looking back now, I realize I fall into that exact category.
By now, you could count on one hand the number of people in Rome who did not know the name Vercingetorix.
The peerless genius of Gaul.
The savior of Hispania.
The hero of the Xiongnu War.
Caesar's sword.
The man loved by the gods.
Every single one of these grandiose titles referred to me.
Honestly, it felt like entirely too much, but it was safe to say my stock in Rome hit a new high every single day.
To be completely honest, the pressure was overwhelming.
Seriously overwhelming.
The biggest problem was that my current position meant I could not breathe a word of complaint.
Caesar stressed this to me time and time again.
"You are now a man whose influence spans not just Gaul, but Hispania as well. Even Britannia and Germania look up to you with envy. It will be difficult, but you must embody their aspirations. Your every step will serve as a beacon of hope for them."
What was I supposed to say to that?
I could not exactly reply, "Sorry, I'm not cut out for this, so I'm going to complain as much as I please."
Besides, every word Caesar spoke was absolutely right.
Even on rare visits back to my hometown, I could vividly feel how the people of Gaul viewed me.
Tribal chieftains from every region gathered weeks in advance after hearing my itinerary, and influential figures with young children uniformly brought them along by the hand.
They begged me to pat their children's heads so they might absorb a sliver of a hero's essence, and the moment I obliged, they erupted in a frenzy of joy as if they had been blessed by a god.
Some went beyond simply voicing their requests for Rome and practically began praying to me right then and there.
It was burdensome.
Incredibly burdensome, but I endured it for the time being.
Hispania was no different.
Perhaps because of the reputation I earned as their savior during the Xiongnu War, they did not even consider me an outsider.
It also helped that, through Caesar's introduction, I had taken the daughter of Hispania's most prominent family as my wife.
My wife was beautiful and devoted, making every day a happy one for me as well.
Before I knew it, I had become fluent in their language, and whenever I visited Hispania, I was welcomed more warmly than the local elites.
Considerable time had passed since then, and now Gaul, Hispania, Britannia, and even Germania were producing senators for Rome.
Still, coming to Rome from distant foreign lands left these men inevitably anxious, no matter their status as senators.
To them, it seemed I—a foreigner who had perfectly integrated into the Roman mainstream—was an object of admiration.
It was similar to the feelings those from the East held for Surenas and Spartacus.
"Lord Vercingetorix, how should I conduct myself in this situation?"
"Lord Vercingetorix, should I refuse a request like this?"
"Lord Vercingetorix, to possess the refinement of a Roman, is reading Cicero's books essential?"
Countless questions poured in every single day.
The farce of it all was that my actual expertise lay strictly in military matters, yet not a single soul ever asked me about that.
It made sense; the East had military academies, but no such institutions had yet taken root in the North.
With Hispania, Gaul, and Britannia unified, the respective tribes were no longer absorbed in raising warriors.
Rome's regular army handled national defense, so the senators in Rome had no need to concern themselves with such matters.
Britannia and Gaul in particular, with their daily explosive surge in productivity, seemed thoroughly addicted to the development of civilization.
Marcus used the expression "drunk on civilization," and it certainly felt like they were intoxicated by something.
Who would bother fighting with weapons when they could already eat until their bellies burst and get drunk on wine?
Even Germania, which used to cross the river to pick fights at the slightest provocation, had gone quiet; it was practically paradise.
Still, not everything went perfectly smoothly.
Unlike the nations of the East, the Northern tribes had only just begun to see proper civilization take root, which proved to be a stumbling block.
Furthermore, thanks to the great Marcus Augustus, the East was practically unified.
The North, on the other hand, remained clearly divided into Gaul, Britannia, Hispania, and Germania, which was a major factor.
In particular, Hispania, which had been Roman territory for a long time, occasionally asserted an odd sense of territorial dominance.
When that happened, conflicts inevitably arose with the Gaul faction, which naturally pushed back.
The conflict between these two sides was especially severe since they were geographically adjacent.
Germania was too preoccupied recovering from the damage inflicted by the Xiongnu to care about other regions, and Britannia, being an island, tended to keep to itself.
This was not a recent problem.
Just three days ago, for instance...
"Lord Vercingetorix!"
"Lord Vercingetorix, please listen to me."
I stand corrected.
It was a reality repeating itself today as well.
A sigh escaped me as I watched the two men enter with expressions that practically screamed, "I am furious."
Even without looking in a mirror, it was not hard to imagine the look on my own face.
"What is it today?"
I thought it would be the usual repetition, but the atmosphere felt distinctly ominous.
Seeing them trail their clientes behind them, unlike usual, suggested this was quite a major issue.
"Listen to this. This Hispanian bastard..."
"What? How dare a Gallic bumpkin run his mouth?"
"What? Are you calling Lord Vercingetorix a bumpkin too?"
"He is a great Roman citizen, not a Gallic bumpkin, you barbarian!"
My head throbbed as I watched the two of them fighting among themselves right after coming to ask for mediation.
Those two, who held Senate seats representing Gaul and Hispania respectively, always fought like that.
The reason, of course, was for the interests of their homelands.
Naturally, the other senators in Rome did not hastily take a side.
If they earned the enmity of Gaul or Hispania, the crumbs they could gather would shrink.
These disputes had been going on since long before those two became senators.
In the past, I actively engaged in mediation out of a sense of duty to prevent regional conflicts.
Gaul was my homeland, and I had considerable ties to Hispania as well, so I considered preventing their disputes to be my responsibility.
That was a massive mistake.
After I successfully mediated a few times, they began running to my house instead of the courts whenever a dispute arose.
Caesar also overestimated my abilities and shoved the work onto me.
He said something about it looking better for me to solve it rather than him stepping forward personally.
He also added that it was only natural for a capable man to take on the work.
I agree.
Naturally, someone with outstanding abilities deserves to be heavily employed as a problem solver.
The problem was that my abilities in this area were completely nonexistent.
To be honest, the mediation plan for the trade dispute that elevated my reputation as a problem solver did not come from my head.
I merely remembered what Caesar had said over drinks and recited it word for word.
Then Gaul and Hispania interpreted it appropriately on their own, and a mediation plan was somehow forged.
And suddenly, I was elevated to an intellectual who had ended the fierce dispute between the two regions in a single stroke.
The newspapers reported on it extensively.
The repercussions caused by an article with such a ridiculous title were enormous.
Excited, my wife clipped the article, displayed it in the house, and went around distributing it to our acquaintances one by one.
I begged her to stop, but those around me seemed to think I was just being humble.
The more I told them not to do it, the more my reputation rose in a strange direction.
If I had just admitted it right then, there would have been no problem, but now things had escalated too far.
My incredibly good luck was also one of the main culprits behind escalating the situation.
Even after that, whenever various problems arose, I would merely offer vague excuses, yet the conflicts were patched up with strange ease.
The result is this current mess.
"Please listen. It is about the food supply and budget allocation across the regions discussed at the assembly this time..."
Regardless of my burning insides, the two senators launched into a long-winded explanation.
Listening to them, it was, as always, an issue related to money.
Great.
Even listening to the gist, I could not understand it at all.
To begin with, I am a strategist and a warrior who leads armies and commands battles.
If it were in that field, I could give a definitive answer that would clear everything up, so why did these kinds of problems keep coming to me?
Contrary to my feelings, a solemn and low voice flowed from my mouth almost as a conditioned reflex.
"Hmm... I understand the general situation."
A lie.
I bitterly resented this reality where my head and my mouth operated separately.
"Ohhh! As expected of Lord Vercingetorix."
"To see through everything after just a brief explanation... You truly are Caesar's right hand."
"Ahem, let us stop with the excessive praise. But shouldn't a problem like this actually go to Augustus instead of me? The decision-making authority rests with him."
"Naturally, we visited him as well. That is the proper procedure. But the great Augustus truly understood our hearts. He said that since Lord Vercingetorix understands our problems best, he would adopt Lord Vercingetorix's opinion entirely
as his own. He mentioned that Caesar highly recommended it."
"Haha... Is that so? It seems Caesar has overestimated me too."
I prayed that every last strand of his remaining hair would fall out.
Sadly, contrary to that wish, the only hair falling out was my own.
"Overestimation? It was an accurate assessment. Does the great Augustus not also master strategy while seeing clearly through politics, economics, and society as a whole? The fact that Lord Vercingetorix possesses talents similar to the great Augustus is a point of
pride for our Gaul."
"Not just in Gaul, but in Hispania as well, Lord Vercingetorix is called a hero—no, a grand hero who surpasses all other heroes."
The clientes brought by the two senators threw both hands into the air, screaming frantically as if trying to prove their faith.
"Vercingetorix! Vercingetorix! Vercingetorix!"
It was clear that my having been born with blessed luck was a total delusion.
Would it not be better for my peace of mind to just charge the Xiongnu tribe cavalry and cut off an enemy commander's head?
A man loved by the gods, my ass.
Listening to the chants ringing loudly through the garden in broad daylight, my mind only grew more troubled, and I quietly turned my head.
Beside me, my wife was staring this way, tears welling in her eyes, deeply moved by her proud husband's majesty.
If I could, I wanted to shout at the top of my lungs.
Stop being moved by this!