The Most Random System

The "three" had gone to the bathroom and still weren’t back yet, so there was no need to lower their voices.

Hearing that, Lin Li glanced at Bai Bufan, sighed, and said nothing.

The price of constantly grossing other people out is constantly getting grossed out by other people.

Request to have Bai Bufan shot.

"Let’s go~"

The girls had all come back too. They picked up their jackets, and "three people and one dog" headed outside.

The five of them first strolled around nearby for a bit to help digest food and vent some academic burnout, then got ready to take a taxi back to the library to continue today’s study mission.

It’s the last weekend of the semester—time to give our final bit of light and heat!

"Holy shit, do we actually still have humans in Class Four?"

In the car, Lin Li was lazily watching the scenery sliding backward outside the window, when Bai Bufan beside him let out this complaint.

Lin Li turned his head to look over and saw Bai Bufan grinning at his phone. He immediately got the hint, took out his own phone, and opened the group chat.

"Zhang Haoyang: Dawn’s just breaking. Wu Jing sleepily burrows closer, letting out a soft, sticky whimper: ’Brother Lei~ what time is it~’

’Still early.’ Huang Lei chuckles, ruffling Wu Jing’s messy hair.

’Wanna cuddle~’ Wu Jing, eyes closed, worms into his arms, voice sugary to the point of crime, ’Just five minutes~’

Huang Lei indulgently tightens his hold, only to find his shirt hem still being tugged ten minutes later.

Feeling his ass being softly patted, Wu Jing pouts and mumbles, ’String beans~ I wanna eat string beans today~’

’Okay, I’ll make them for you.’ Huang Lei’s heart melts, ’For now can I go make breakfast?’

’Just a tiny bit more~’ Triumphant, Wu Jing snickers, playing cute in that babyish voice.

Sunlight fills the room—no Wolf Warrior here, only a clingy big boy and his exclusive keeper.

Years later——

Wu Jing’s muscles tense as he cradles the baby, rushing to mix formula. Huang Lei, wearing an apron, sighs, ’Jing-ge, burping needs a gentle pat...’

Wu Jing clumsily rubs the kid’s tummy, muttering, ’This is harder than an ambush...’

Suddenly the little one in his arms goes ’burp~’ and spits out a bubble of milk. Huang Lei laughs: ’Nice shot! You really passed your skills down!’

Wu Jing’s ears turn crimson: ’...You’re feeding him tomorrow!’

Warm sunset outside the window; the tough guy and the kitchen god fumble around, and the chaos just about smothers the room full of milky burps."

"Qin Zeyu: Watch the eyes!! Perfect shot!! Amazing amazing amazing!"

"Zhou Baowei: I’m really not eating string beans or formula this time, you’ve seriously made me nauseous @Zhang Haoyang. Next time please go back to copying Genshin, I’m begging you."

"Zhou Baowei: Forget it, nausea is nausea, but string beans and formula themselves are innocent. I’ll still eat them."

"Yang Bangjie: ’Lewd pic’"

"Wang Ze: What a gorgeous love story—our little demon Jing really knows how to torment people~ Going by the text, the one in charge of dipping in soybean paste is Huang Lei, yeah? So jealous."

"Bai Bufan: Are there actually still humans in this group?"

"Bai Bufan: If you can ship a CP like Huang D-Inner Jing, my reaction is basically another CP: Shang Yang x Louis XVI—falling to my knees in five-point prostration."

"Lin Li: Thanks, Haoyang. I was just being hunted down by a pseudo-person, but luckily I was reading our group chat. The pseudo-person took a look, patted my shoulder, and told me not to blow my cover."

"Screeeech——"

Before the two of them could keep flinging crap at each other in the chat, the car suddenly slowed down. Under inertia, Lin Li and Bai Bufan lurched forward a bit.

So they stopped looking at their phones, raised their heads, and tried to see what was going on.

"Sorry, sorry," the driver immediately apologized, then jerked his chin toward the front, "There are some troublesome traffic cops up at the intersection ahead. I’ve gotta change lanes early and drive steady. Really sorry, yeah."

Sure enough, at the distant intersection, traffic cops were currently directing vehicles.

"Bufan." Lin Li stroked his own chin, put his phone away, fell into a brief silent contemplation, then called Bai Bufan’s name.

"What’s up?" Bai Bufan turned his gaze over.

"Tell me," Lin Li slowly laid out his thoughts, "why do traffic cops have to wear fluorescent vests as their uniforms?

Those vests are way too conspicuous; it’s super easy for passing drivers to spot them and get ready ahead of time, right?

Why not design some kind of camouflage uniform or ghillie suit that fits the look of the road? That would help increase the traffic cops’ stealth. With that kind of protective coloring, they could suddenly pop up in front of cars at intersections, leaving the driver no time to react and just surrender on the spot."

"Hiss——" Hearing this, Bai Bufan’s eyes went wide. "Don’t say it—no seriously, don’t say it, but it does feel pretty feasible. Maybe this is a business opportunity? When we get back, should we design a whole set of intersection camo gear? Then we can pitch it to the local traffic police department in Xiling, and gradually expand across the country, across the world? In the end we rake in eight or ten million!!"

"Holy shit, that could work! Bufan, could it be that we’re the wolves of Wall Street?"

"Guaranteed!"

Driver: "..."

The corner of his mouth was twitching like crazy.

Fuck.

Honestly, the driver himself kind of hated traffic cops, but it wasn’t hating them as people. It came more naturally from him being an online-hired driver—this job just inherently makes you loathe the profession of traffic cop.

But now, in comparison, those two kids in the back, they’re the ones who really hate traffic cops.

He only hopes traffic cops don’t hit their performance goals; these two are straight-up hoping traffic cops don’t live to see another day!!

And they’re even talking about going to the traffic department to pitch this stuff?

Even on days when he’s feeling suicidal, he wouldn’t do something that provocative.

Wolves of Wall Street, huh?

More like Wallace’s dogs, for fuck’s sake!!!

...

At eight-thirty in the evening, before the library’s closing bell rang, "three people and one dog" stood up and left.

Snagging a perfect blind spot from the cameras, Lin Li stole a quiet little goodbye kiss from Ying Bao, then as usual headed back to school first with Bai Bufan and Qu Wanqiu.

And then went home.

At the door, his package had already arrived—actually the delivery service had texted Lin Li about it that afternoon.