The system invites me to be a teacher

Confucius and Mencius didn't know that the preserved egg on the opposite side had so many thoughts in an instant.

In fact, "Yuexiu happier" is just a random adaptation of his previous life called "Yuece happier".

The only thing that satisfied him was that his adaptation did not affect the meaning of the original work.

Skip the title, Confucius and Mencius looked at the following text:

"Hello everyone, this is Zheng Wanqing, now please let me sincerely thank one part of the audience for their warm applause and another part of the audience for their silent support.

Today, I am very happy to stand on the stage where the wind and drizzle are beautiful and beautiful. To express my excitement, I invite everyone to dinner!

Eat western food, real western food!

McDonald, KFC, Von Stolov driver...

No, no, because of the economic crisis, we have to support the national industry and cannot eat western food.

Boycott foreign goods!

Then eat the quintessence of the country, listen well, I invite you to eat steamed lamb, steamed bear paw, steamed deer tail, roasted flower duck, roasted chicken, roasted goose, braised salted duck, sauced chicken bacon, songhua belly...

Cough...

I don’t know if everyone is clear about one thing. The talk show is actually hard to say. It’s not like a cross talk. It doesn’t even have anything to say about it.

Think about it, the shoe sellers have shoe trays, and the socks sellers have socks trays. Even Zhao Rongrong almost became a tray.

You said it’s better to have support than no support. Just take it off, take it off...

Uh, this is the stage of the talk show, the most elegant place, so...hahahaha, you know.

Tell the truth, something that happened to a lawyer.

He said that someone had committed a crime. He heard from others that he was sentenced to more than ten years in prison, even the death penalty.

So, this person said to the lawyer, please, talk to the judge. I must be sentenced to ten years, and I will thank you very much.

Sure enough, this lawyer was very good. After the first trial, this person was sentenced to ten years.

Ten years later, this person came out, the first thing was to find a lawyer to express his gratitude.

The lawyer said to him, do you know how hard I worked for this case?

It’s just because of my face. The judge has sentenced you to ten years. Otherwise, he will have to acquit you...

..."

A manuscript was sprinkled with eloquent words, and the corners of Kong and Mencius' lips twitched.

Nima, this is a talk show?

Confucius and Mencius cannot be blamed for the swearing, it is really written by this line...

You go straight to say how good stand-up comedy is, why bother to lead the trend and connect with international standards?

"Teacher Kong, isn't this line okay?" Seeing the expression of Confucius and Mencius, the preserved egg sank.

Confucius sighed: "Brother egg, it's not that your words are bad, but I don't think you need to print it out."

"Why?" The preserved egg obviously did not understand Confucius and Mencius.

Confucius and Mencius thought for a while, still try to make his tone tactfully: "The air quality is so bad now, and you still type so many papers. This is adding to the country's environmental protection work!"

preserved egg:"……"

His face immediately turned red: "Mr. Kong, what do you mean? Is my manuscript so bad?"

Don't blame the preserved egg for being angry. In order to help Zheng Wanqing catch up with the manuscript, he had to endure two full nights.

Every word, every sentence, every stalk has been carefully crafted.

The preserved egg could even hear Zheng Wanqing speaking on stage, and the audience's knowing smile and warm applause.

He admitted that there are still many loopholes and flaws in this talk show manuscript because of ability problems.

But if there are loopholes, you can point it out. If there are flaws, I can correct them. How can it be so useless?

"Uh..." Confucius and Mencius didn't expect the preserved egg to react so much.

After thinking for a while, he said, "Brother Egg, if I'm not mistaken, the baggage and laughter in your speech were copied from traditional comic dialogue, right?"

"I..." The preserved egg wanted to say no, but these stalks were too obvious, especially for that section of the famous dish name Guankou, as long as you listened to the cross talk for a few days, you could recite it back.

"I am combining traditional culture with the essence of the West. Only in this way, overseas imported products like talk shows will not be dissatisfied.

Only by using this method to make the talk show a firm foothold in the hearts of the audience can there be opportunities for further extension and development."

Confucius and Mencius: "..."

He shook his head: "With all due respect, if you really do it like this, the talk show cannot stand firm. Its only result is drowning in the Pacific Ocean."

preserved egg:"……"

He hummed: "Teacher Kong, you are too arbitrary to say that?"

"This is not arbitrary, why do you want to introduce a talk show?

Because this way of expression can be closely integrated with reality, compared with traditional cross talk, it has an extraordinary vitality.

However, in today's automation and informationization, the art form of cross talk has been basically determined to be dead. If it wants to be reborn from the fire, it can only take the path of advancing with the times.

As a result, you not only don't want to push the old and bring forth the new, but you insist on getting closer to the traditional cross talk. This is like a person who can't swim and has to cross the Drake Channel. Who will you not drown?"

"You..." Preserved Egg took a deep breath, forcibly suppressing his disapproval, "Mr. Kong opens his mouth to keep pace with the times and keeps up with the old to bring forth the new, but this kind of concept is not just a matter of just saying a few words.

Why don't you give me a few examples and let me study hard too?"

After speaking, he stared at Confucius and Mencius closely.

Although the other party changed the name of Zheng Wanqing's talk show, he has demonstrated his extraordinary understanding of this art form.

But understanding is one thing, it's another thing to be able to really write something that makes people's eyes shine.

Take himself as an example. He has been studying abroad in recent years and he has heard more of these unique performances. This is why he will be entrusted by Zheng Wanqing.

But when he really did it, he realized that being able to listen does not mean that he can write, and that he can write does not mean that he can write well.

If you want to maintain the style and vitality of foreign talk shows, you have to take into account the Chinese people's aesthetics of such elements, and you have to fully integrate with fashion and reality, and be humorous without losing elegance. It is too difficult and difficult.

Hearing that, Confucius and Mencius also fell into thinking, not because he didn't know how to give examples, but because he had heard too many jokes and didn't know which one to choose for a while.

Shaking his head, Confucius and Mencius turned on the phone and opened the news page of the browser.

The top one said that a mature female white-collar worker in her forties wanted to find her other half. As a result, there were about 241 boys in one year, but they still could not get true love.

Although the story tells the reality that many men are "short and poor", the main thrust of the article is that the fussy and high standards of charming women have led to wastefulness.

After reading this message, Confucius and Mencius began typing:

"Women, you must know how to cherish your youth!

A 20-year-old woman is like a cherry, which is not necessarily delicious; a 30-year-old woman is like an apple, which is both good-looking and delicious; a 40-year-old woman is like a pineapple, which is not necessarily good. A 50-year-old woman is like a tomato. Are you... a fruit?"

preserved egg:"???"

It's because he claims to be knowledgeable, and at this moment he couldn't help but burst out two words: Fuck!

No way, this passage is too incisive + amazing.

The most important thing is that Confucius and Mencius clearly saw the whole process from browsing news to conception to writing.

Five minutes, only five minutes!

Within five minutes, a high-level joke that was both humorous and close to reality was released.

I have been complaining to Zheng Wanqing, saying that the idea of ​​keeping the quality and quantity and the speed is impossible to realize.

With emotion, Confucius and Mencius moved his finger again:

As for why there are so many older leftover women?Is it to blame the male compatriot next door for having no eyes?

Although there are men everywhere in this society, outstanding men are still in demand. They belong to the standard with more monks and less meat.

Therefore, for the sake of one's lifelong happiness, in many cases it is necessary to take the initiative or to take the initiative.

Many girls are wandering in society, and they will meet their favorite boys more or less, but why didn't the two sides get together in the end?

Is the other person not liking yourself?Not necessarily, it's because I don't have the courage.

20-year-olds are young and beautiful, but we are not guilty or guilty; 30-year-olds are guilty but not guilty; 40-year-olds are guilty but also guilty, but we can look back – no guts Up!

How terrible is A World Without Thieves?

preserved egg:"……"