Chapter 494: He Still Loves Her Anyway
Benjamin truly was the best medicine, the cure for all my anxieties and doubts. Just being near him made everything seem right, made the world feel whole and complete.
Wait, more importantly!!
"Benjamin, are we not going to help them?! They’ll actually die if left alone with that dragon!"
He turned to me smiling brightly, his eyes crinkling at the corners with that particular warmth that always made my heart flutter.
"No, I refuse. But seriously, Heka, you are surprisingly kind. And these are even strangers, but you’re willing to help them. You even stuck out for Lei and Khüch... Mhm. That’s a wonderful quality to have sometimes."
His voice carried a gentle teasing, but beneath it, I could hear real appreciation.
The words settled over me like a warm blanket, comforting and unexpected.
I had not realized he had been paying such close attention to my actions.
"Eh...? Uhm, thank you very much," my heart was mixed between being overjoyed from the compliment, and sad at the implication of what Benjamin said.
The two emotions swirled within me like opposing currents, each pulling me in a different direction.
I felt warmth spreading through my chest at his praise, but there was also a cold knot of confusion forming in my stomach. "Benjamin... please, may I ask why?"
I watched his face, searching for some clue to his reasoning, some hint of the thoughts that hid behind his beautiful blue eyes.
He was always so hard to read, so unpredictable, and yet, I trusted him completely.
"Why...?" Benjamin giggled as one of the adventurers struggled to put out the blue flame burning on their rear end.
The sight was comical—the adventurer rolling on the grass, beating at the persistent fire with their hands while their companions tried to help.
Benjamin continued: "It’s very entertaining to watch. It’s not everyday you see adventurers fighting a dragon in real time. Not to mention... I’ll kill the dragon easily if I join in. You too."
I still didn’t understand what he was saying, but Benjamin was my compass: I cannot do what he says I should not do.
That was a truth I had accepted long ago, a trust that had grown and deepened with every moment we spent together.
Sensing my still growing discomfort, Benjamin touched my shoulder.
His hand was warm and solid, grounding me in the present moment. "Hey, I don’t want to steal this one from them. There is a joy that comes from accomplishing a task way bigger than you. I see it in that elf’s eyes. He’s possibly their leader. If I help them, they will be thankful in words, but hold sadness we can’t see."
The words struck me like a physical blow. Ah... I feel so embarrassed.
The realization washed over me, hot and uncomfortable.
He was correct.
Those adventurers are not in some kind of trouble, they are intentionally taking on an assignment.
They had chosen this fight, prepared for it, and trained heavily for it.
They were not victims in need of rescue—they were warriors in pursuit of glory.
I was insensitive again. My instinct to protect had blinded me to their agency, their choice, their right to face this challenge on their own terms.
"Ahaha! That’s not insensitive, it’s kindness. And it’s beautiful...!" Benjamin drew closer quickly, bending enough to peck me on my lips.
Just from his soft lips on mine, I almost lost power in my legs!
The sensation was electric, a jolt of pure happiness that traveled from my lips to my fingertips to my toes.
I... lurve him shoooo muchhhh!
The thought was childish and embarrassing, but it was also true, more true than anything else in my life.
He was everything to me, the center of my world, and every gesture of affection only deepened my... devotion...
Wait...! Wait, wat, wait!!
"Benjamin, d-d-did you read my mind just now?!" The question burst out of me, born of shock and confusion.
"Shhhh! You’ll make the adventurers spot us," he pushed a finger to his lips, his expression shifting to one of playful secrecy.
His eyes sparkled with mischief, and I could see that he was enjoying my flustered state. "I promise, when they’re just on the brink of death, I’ll step in and help, okay?"
"Uh... That is fine by me..." I nodded and shifted my attention back to the growing fight.
My mind was still spinning from the kiss, but I forced myself to focus on the battle unfolding before us.
The elf and human girl were trying to do something, some new plan to kill the dragon in one shot, maybe.
I could see them communicating with gestures and glances, coordinating their movements with the precision of long practice.
The elf’s legendary blade was glowing with power, and the katana-wielder was positioning herself for a strike that would, if successful, end the fight.
Ah! Benjamin cleverly dodged my question... The thought flickered through my mind, and I felt a mix of frustration and affection.
He was always doing that, sidestepping the difficult questions with grace and charm.
[If you think so loudly, I can’t help it] his voice sounded inside my head and startled me.
The words were clear and distinct, as if he were speaking directly into my ear, and yet his lips had not moved.
[...]
I was silent, afraid he might get my perverted thoughts exposed.
The fear was real and immediate—I had so many dirty thoughts, so many desires that I would never want him to witness.
They were private, intimate, the secret workings of a heart that loved too deeply and too passionately! I swear, I’m not a pervert!
[Hahaha, forget it. Whenever we’re alone, you expose it every time. I’m used to it and I love you that way!] [Ben]
Damn it! So disgraceful of me.
My cheeks burned with embarrassment, and I could feel the heat spreading down my neck.
He knew, he knew everything... B-B-But he still loved me anyway.
The thought was both mortifying and wonderful, a contradiction that made my head spin.
I must learn to think more quietly...!
I would control my thoughts, restrain my desires, keep my heart hidden behind walls of discipline and restraint.
It was the only way to preserve my dignity, the only way to maintain some semblance of composure.
But even as I made this promise to myself, I knew it was futile. Benjamin had a way of breaking down all my defenses, of seeing through every mask I tried to wear.
He knew me better than anyone, perhaps better than I knew myself. And despite it all, I was grateful for that.
***
Some times a hyper fast battle without any leeway for rest and proper breathing, sometimes a more tentative probe from both sides.
The rhythm of combat shifted and flowed like the tides, unpredictable and relentless.
Real progress wasn’t being made, besides the dragon was wearing everyone out and will soon claim victory for itself.
The adventurers were fading, their movements becoming slower, more desperate.
A light blue haired lady was at the farthest away from the dragon, commanding and sending waves of ice to displace the dragon, as it evaded some and crushed many quickly.