Life, Once Again!

“From now on, what I'm talking about is keeping me at the forefront. Maybe you don't have it in you. If you don't feel empathy or understand it as you speak, you dare ignore it. It's better that way. ”

“Got it.”

“Let's find out exactly what the problem is. But is the light gonna be okay? You look a little sleepy. ”

Yuna looks at the sleepy glow.

“Shiny, sleepy much? ”

“No.”

“I feel sleepy. ”

“No.”

It was a light that rose slowly to go to the bathroom.

“I think she's thinking about you. ”

“I have a deep, glowing thought. Sometimes I can't believe he's my brother. So I like shiny. ”

Yuna watches until it shines and enters the bathroom, then turns her head to the floor.

“It's been a long time to talk, so let's get this over with as soon as possible. Shiny or not, you need to go home soon. ”

“Yes.”

“Tell me in detail what your problem is. You'll realize that a lot of problems are not a big deal when you try to sort them out with words. However, if there is anything left in my heart, it is a matter to consider. ”

The toddler remembered the words of the floor and summarized everything from the beginning of the act until now. While we were talking, the glow returned to its place. As she forcefully drove away her sleep, Yuna was heartbroken and thankful.

Unlike when I thought indiscriminately as I said on the floor, when I put it out of my mouth in the form of a language, it was clearly divided between what was important and what wasn't. Precisely a lump of horses appeared that could not be easily taken out, and that seemed to be his biggest problem. But I still don't know exactly what it is. Only indescribable awkwardness remained inside. If you describe it in a language, I think I can find clues to resolve this situation.

“Give me a moment to sort things out. And if there's something you're not telling me, think seriously about it. I don't know why I couldn't speak, what it's doing to me. ”

The pen moves too fast. As she watched the floor write on the note, she began to look inside the problem.

‘You don't have the skills to go pro. I was worried and in a hurry because of that. The technical side is definitely improving, but the instructor said there was a problem with the communication skills. That's why I wanted to ask Mr. Floor for help. ’

After thinking about it, she lets out a small sigh. Is that all? There seems to be a more fundamental problem. I can feel a mass of emotion that is not expressed in words remaining in my body. It was frustrating. It was definitely from me, but I couldn't clearly understand what it was. I've never felt like this before. There seems to be something completely different about me inside. Disgust spreads throughout the body.

“I've done some clearing up, so listen. ”

The floor speaks. Yuna nods, admiring the small in the middle. I felt clear just by listening to objectively changed events and problems. The floor is spectacular, with a clear story in a short time.

“In the end, you're a little nervous because of your constant emotional transference, even though you're acting so happily, right? ”

“Yes, I think that's right. ”

“Good. Let's start here, then. Did you try what I said before? Cleaning up unspoken things. ”

“That... sounds strange, but I can't describe what I'm feeling. There's definitely something important, and I can't explain it very well. ”

“What I didn't realize was inexplicable. But you know there's something wrong with your senses, so keep thinking. And listen while you think. I'm gonna be as extreme as I can because I don't want to be a pussy. Number one, why are we acting? ”

“Because I like it.”

“Don't you like anything else? ”

“I like acting best. ”

“More than anything? ”

“Yes.”

“Then number two. Why are you worried about not being a professional? ”

“That's …… a realistic problem. No matter how much you like it, you can't stop thinking about the future. You can't keep playing just because it's best to play. ”

“Be an economic tool? ”

“Yes.”

“Then why don't we make some money for something else and act as a hobby? There are a lot of civic theaters nowadays, and if you go to the community center, there are village theater clubs. ”

“I want to be an actor. ”

“You want to live in smoke? ”

Juna replied, "Yes, small."

“Number three. What are the criteria for living on smoke? ”

“Standards?”

“What kind of profit do you want? ”

“Enough to live on. I think it's enough if I can act even if I'm poor. ”

“Do you really think so? ”

Yuna nods without hesitation. At the same time, the floor places the pen. Lift your clasped hand up and turn your back to the ground as if it were all over.

“Solved.”

“Yes?”

“If you keep any kind of job consistent, you can put it in your mouth. This is not the kind of place where society gets stuck. You can't eat what you want, you don't have a house in your name, you don't have a car, you can't dream about getting married in a ring, but you can live with it. That was your criteria, wasn't it? Living and acting. I don't care if I'm poor. If that's your reference point, you don't have to worry about it anymore. Well, congratulations, you got to live with the smoke. ”

At that moment, Juna was speechless. My lips are sore, but I can't speak. Living in the act. Yuna believed that she could be as happy as she could be if she did what she could even be poor. There was no shake in that belief until just a moment ago. However, as soon as I heard the specific example, I felt something twitching inside my body.

“Casted into a good work……. ”

“I told you, I'm going to set it extreme. That way we wouldn't have to have this conversation in the first place. You have a good chance of acting, a chance to solve this problem easily, and a chance to become a big star. It's a possibility. When you figure out the nature, you usually rule out the middle things. Let's talk about some nonsense. If I wanted to tell you a story of hope, I wouldn't have been on the right track. I was a little desperate for you. I brought the extremists out from the start because I knew the ambiguous positives were poison for desperate people, but I think we should end the story here if not at that level. Because no matter what I say, you're gonna dream of a sunny moment in a rat hole. There's only one thing I can say to a man like that. ”

You'll be fine from now on, the floor smiles and says. The floor picks up the bag. I put the chair back in and slowly turned around. Yuna stared blankly at him. Did he want this? After all, did he need someone else's word to comfort him?

‘What I want.... ’

Juna pushes the chair and gets up and grabs the clothing collar on the floor. I felt like I would continue to regret this moment if I let it go.

“Mark Twain once said, It's not because you don't know you're in trouble. It's because I think I know for sure. Sometimes it's better to doubt what you never doubted. Answers often pop up in unexpected places. ”

As soon as Yuna heard that, she felt the mass of her unparalleled emotion that was twisting in her heart. I had no pride in believing that this could never be wrong.

I remembered myself acting. I smile and enjoy it. I think I can overcome any hardships and difficulties if I fall into the smoke.

So, the act was the sanctuary. It was a place that was neither defiled nor incomplete. I completely ruled out sorrow and pain so that I wouldn't fall into the category of smoke. Acting itself is always a happy act, and I have acted with such faith.

But what if the smoke is bothering you?

It should not be. Smoke shall remain an oasis forever. The cause of the pain lies in something other than smoke. Teacher's words, lack of communication, and pressure on the pro. These are the problems. Smoke itself is clean and pure, harmless. No, it had to be.

“…… I'm tired of smoke. ”

At the same time as saying it, Yuna was unable to control her feelings. Your head scrambles. It looks like you need to vent out the boils inside to calm this chaos. When she regained consciousness, she realized that she was crying. When I was acting, tears that were so hard to see flowed out that I couldn't control now. I wanted to scream because I felt like it. I didn't want to cry beautifully, but I wanted to squeeze my tears and snot and drool. But there were too many human eyes. In the upside down shock, the face shook up terribly.

Juna needed a place to lean. And there was a floor up ahead. You take a step closer and reach for the challenging look on your face. I felt I couldn't do it even if I didn't accept it, but I couldn't stop acting. That's how impulsive my body was.

“Young, young. ”

It was a fluffy hand that patted my back. Yuna squeezes her face tightly against the chest as she approaches and cries bitterly. After crying, I was so ashamed that I wanted to die for a moment, but now I can't help it.

“Don't notice. Cry. Next time you come, you just wear a mask. Isn't that right?”

“I... know... someone who will recognize me... even with a mask... ”

“Okay, okay. Are you all crying? ”

“No…"

Yuna grabs the floor collar again and cries until her throat tightens. I can see the light staring anxiously through the blurred vision. In your hand is a piece of paper towel.

"Mom says, if you can't cry when you want to, you're sick."

Yuna snorts and nods.

"Shine from tomorrow."

Maru said.

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... I lay on the hot floor and fell asleep for a while, but I feel terrible.

My stomach hurts too.

Ha.

It's unfair. I'm sweating because it's hot and I'm cold. I feel the pain of summer and the pain of winter at the same time.

Oh, shit!

* * *

Referrals, always appreciated.

Coupon, thank you. I write thanks to you.

Completed:

Pharynx