My Alleged Husband

Many things cannot be experienced just by working hard, and all those bits and pieces are things I can’t solve in this lifetime.

Zhang Zhentian lay on the hospital bed, seemingly not hearing any of the words his wife was saying. She continued dreaming, in which he held hands with his wife. Those happy times made him unwilling to wake up, and he felt that as long as he was with his wife, he could forget all the pain and worries of the world.

But again and again, he forgot why he did everything he did and why he ended up like this. He forgot everything, yet she didn’t realize that his family would one day love him so much.

In his dream, he faced her but didn’t want to open his eyes because he feared that once he opened them, everything would vanish. He dreaded that his dreams would disappear, but she didn’t know that this was his only goal. He also didn’t know that the woman he loved was calling to him at his bedside, or that his family was living in constant worry due to his repeated resuscitations.

If he knew, maybe he really would open his eyes to see these family members suffering because of him.

Xia Jing didn’t want to think about anything else, nor did he care about how he felt physically. He only knew that the only thing he must do now is call to wake his husband from his dream. He needed to show the world that he wasn’t a bad person and not the reason everything turned out this way. He just wanted everyone to know that deep down, she was kind and longed for her family’s trust. But why does her husband refuse to wake up, forcing her to bear such immense pressure?

"Zhentian, haven’t you always hoped to continue living with me? As long as you wake up, I promise you I will never think about anything again, never leave you, and will stay by your side for the rest of my life. Is it really so hard for you to wake up? Again and again, you choose to leave me in pain, forgetting that I also need love and need you by my side.

Zhentian, do you really have the heart to let me bear all this pressure alone here?

If you were awake, you truly wouldn’t be willing to let me suffer such pressure.

Because I believe that deep down, you sincerely love me for who I am, not for any other reason. But do you know? Watching you lying here, my heart aches deeply. Seeing you lying there made me realize how important you are in my heart. For you, I’m willing to be the one who endures all the pain!

I truly can’t bear to see you in pain. Watching you live like this makes my heart ache as well, but some things I can only choose to walk step by step to the end, let everyone know I was wrong, only then do I realize, I cannot live without you!

I originally thought that no one could live without anyone else, but now I realize I cannot live without you. My heart is in agony, seeing you hurt repeatedly because of what I’ve done. How could I remain indifferent?

Zhentian, I beg you, wake up. Wake up and see what has become of your beloved woman. Hear what people are saying about me. You have no idea how painful those words are to hear, but I can only endure because everything still ties back to me in the end.

If it wasn’t for me, how could things have ended up this way? Each choice brought me more pain. I never thought I’d end up in your hands, I wanted to be heartless, never moved by your deeds.

But I forgot that I’m human, and more than that, I’m a woman. When I’m cherished and protected, I feel like I’ve found the best place to belong. Yet I kept forcing myself to become someone despised because I didn’t want people to look down on me. I wanted everyone to know I could make it on my own to the end."

Zhang Zhentian still had no response.

Xia Jing saw that her husband showed no reaction and felt anxious. She was really worried that if she missed the optimal time for him to wake up, she might never get the chance to wake him again.

Xia Jing continued calling out by the bed, until her mouth was dry and her throat parched. But she couldn’t stop because she wanted to be the one to wake him, to be that one person.

Zhang Yichen saw from outside that his mother’s lips were cracked. But he knew how stubborn she was, never giving up until her goal was reached. Even if he tried to persuade her, she wouldn’t stop because deep down, she wanted her husband to wake up and stay with her. Although no one in her family approved of her in this family, her husband never abandoned her, and no matter what, she wanted to remain by his side. But why did fate have to toy with her, making her realize only after something happened that he meant so much to her?

If she had understood earlier the key point, would the ending not be like this? Would everything not be so passive? Would her family be safe, and her husband not have to suffer the torment of machines here?

The reason for persisting and not giving up is the belief that she can hold on till the end.