Chapter 95 -
Yueqing pulled back after the quick peck, her chin held high as she waited for her sweet, sweet reward.
One second passed. Two seconds passed.
Nothing. Silence. Not even a single ding! popped up in her mind.
[Nine! Hello?! Where are my points?!] Yueqing yelled in her head, crossing her arms in sheer outrage. [I just kissed this Block of Wood again! Where is my +1 Villain Point?!]
[Host, please read the diagnostic notes carefully,] Nine replied, his robotic tone sounding utterly unbothered. [The bug specifically registers aggressive, passionate, hostile domination. A weak, tiny little peck does not qualify as aggressive. There has to be actual passion, heat, and raw intensity for the system to mistake it for emotional damage.]
[WHAT?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!] Yueqing screamed back mentally, her inner voice practically bursting Wenzhe’s eardrums. [AGGRESSIVE AND PASSIONATE?! HE’S A BLOCK OF WOOD, NINE! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE PASSIONATE WITH A LITERAL TREE TRUNK?!]
Standing right in front of her, Wenzhe listened to every single word of her mental meltdown.
A slow, subtle smirk tugged at the corner of Wenzhe’s lips. For the first time since this whole mind-reading madness began, he finally had the upper hand over his chaotic, scheming wife. She needed him if she wanted those points, and a simple peck wasn’t going to cut it anymore.
Seeing the tiny, smug smirk on his face, Yueqing’s eyes narrowed. She gritted her teeth, determined to farm those points no matter what, and leaned forward to grab his collar again.
Before her hands could even touch his chest, Wenzhe’s large, warm hand shot out and caught her wrist in mid-air.
He held her firmly in place, stepping closer until he was towering over her. His dark eyes glinted with quiet amusement as he looked down at her flustered face.
"What are you doing, Su Yueqing?" Wenzhe questioned softly, his deep voice carrying a hint of a mock challenge. "What are you trying to accomplish right now?"
Yueqing’s face flushed pink. She couldn’t exactly say, ’I need to aggressively kiss you to trick my system into giving me villain points because of a 48-hour software bug!’
She cleared her throat, putting on a ridiculously fake, pouting face and batting her eyelashes at him. "W-Well... is kissing my own husband a crime, General Xi?"
Wenzhe let out a low, amused scoff, his grip on her wrist remaining firm.
"Is it a crime?" Wenzhe replied, leaning down slightly so his eyes were level with hers. "Have you forgotten your own words from the other night?"
Yueqing blinked, freezing up.
"You told me yourself," Wenzhe continued, his tongue sharp as he quoted her exact words back to her, "that you don’t like me. You said you were completely disgusted by me, and that you could never get turned on around me. So why the sudden change of heart all of a sudden?"
Yueqing’s jaw dropped in absolute horror.
[OH MY GOD!] Her inner voice shrieked hysterically inside Wenzhe’s brain. [HE REMEMBERS THAT?! NINE, HELP ME! DIG A HOLE AND BURY ME RIGHT NOW!]
Wenzhe’s smirk widened just a fraction more as he watched her panic, enjoying every single second of her humiliation.
Yueqing forced her face to stay totally still, slapping on a dramatically heartbroken, pitiful expression. She squeezed her eyes, trying to force a single fake tear to fall down her cheek.
"Wenzhe..." she whimpered softly, placing her free hand over her heart. "How could you bring up the past like that? Don’t you know how much a person’s heart can change after going through something scary? What about when those assassins attacked us the other night?!"
She puffed up her chest, looking full of deep, tragic emotion. "Facing all those terrifying assassins... seeing you fight so bravely to protect us... it completely changed how I see you! My heart moved, Wenzhe!"
Wenzhe raised an eyebrow, a lazy, mocking smirk spreading across his face.
"The assassins the other night?" Wenzhe scoffed softly, leaning in closer. "You slept like a baby right after the ambush was over. You didn’t look like someone who had a grand change of heart."
Yueqing’s dramatic act instantly melted away. Her face turned bright red with pure frustration, and she stomped her foot on the stone floor.
"You—!" Yueqing huffed, crossing her arms and glaring daggers at him. "So what?! You used me as a blanket yesterday, so why can’t I use you as well?!"
[Yeah!] her mind roared back in anger, sending her thoughts straight into his head. [You pulled me close like a human throw blanket when you were cold, you stubborn Block of Wood! Why are you acting so high and mighty now when I just want my points?!]
Wenzhe nearly choked on his own breath trying not to laugh out loud, his smirk widening as he enjoyed every second of her sudden outburst.
Before Yueqing could try another aggressive move to get her points, heavy footsteps clattered down the hallway from the kitchen side. Two young servants carrying silver trays loaded with fresh wine jars turned the corner, stopping dead in their tracks the moment they saw General Xi holding his wife close in the dim light.
"G-General Xi! Young Madam!" the servants gasped, bowing their heads in pure terror, their faces burning bright red. "P-Pardon us! We were just coming to fetch the wine for the Governor’s toast!"
Yueqing’s eyes widened in sheer realization. The Governor’s toast! The wine jar!
She quickly glanced over at the large clay jar sitting on the table beside them—the very jar from which she had scooped the wine during their chaotic argument.
Wenzhe followed her gaze, his heart dropping into his stomach as the realization hit him like a lightning bolt.
Wait a minute... Wenzhe thought, his eyes widening in horror. She didn’t get to put the laxatives into the main jar before I stopped her... which means the laxatives were ALREADY inside the silver cup she dipped into it!
And both of them had just swallowed that exact wine during their frantic kiss!
Wenzhe’s face turned pale.
Yueqing slowly turned her head toward Wenzhe, her inner thoughts suddenly blaring with pure, unadulterated panic.
[WENZHE...] Yueqing’s inner scream echoed inside his head. [WE DRANK THE LAXATIVES!]