Re:Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu (WN)

――――

Staring at the 'Book of the Dead' in his arms, its black cover, Subaru remained silent.

Beatrice leaning right next to her, feeling her worried or suspicious gaze poking at her side, but Subaru can't move.

Until just before, what dominated Natsuki Subaru's brain was an unanswered Zen-like self-question.

In fact, what occupied Subaru's head was often only shallow thoughts of the kind truncated as futile to think about.

What should be laughed at with your nose is the vague question a child has.

- No matter what kind of person you are, you hide a different face from what you show others.

Such a natural fact, is what everyone learns in the process of becoming an adult from a child.

A look of hatred on the back of the smile, a crying face of sadness behind the shapes of anger. It is human beings who are able to deal with others like nothing else while hiding those actual emotions.

I can't let anyone else know the true, true and true nature of such a person by a hundred percent.

I can't totally tell if I'm a couple or family member to my brothers, sisters, parents and children.

Friends, I'm familiar with young children, lovers to my best friends, where I deepened my relationship how much my heart is black box, I can never reveal it.

That I love you. What you prefer. That I am forgiving my heart. That you are forgiving your body. These various physical and mental bonds and this is a completely different issue.

Yeah, but I know that. But that's why I can't give up my thoughts.

I want to know, I want to know, I want to hear, I want to reveal, that was an arrogant but true wish. Not to mention in a situation where other lives were at stake.

Even if it was by no means an established, non-existent means.

- No, it didn't exist, it was supposed to be a means.

He laughed at me with his nose that exploring thoughts was an inexorable thing because it was a means that should not exist.

But in this library of Tygeta, Subaru has found out.

――――

- Mairie Portruit.

By deciphering The Book of the Dead, Subaru went after Mary's life and understood with what thoughts she moved, what she was thinking and who she hated at the end.

Regardless, that extremely short chase experience is not all about a girl named Mary.

The concept of time is too vast to accept everything into the brain as an instant event. Though half the life of a young girl, it is not something that can be taken out of the vessel during the raw.

I think I stumbled on the stronghold, chewed whatever I wanted, and figured out Mary.

I understood painfully that that was the mood of Natsuki Subaru right now.

But still, it should be noted.

Understanding the fact that I didn't even understand her shards deepened Subaru's understanding of Mary beyond comparison to before.

- That there were people that 'I' cherished. That my heart, deprived of it and of stopping by, kept wandering. Being with the Subaru who did it made me struggle with my standing obscured. That I went into the library in search of the Book of the Dead to know my true intentions, and even despaired, in shame that I was made aware of my thoughts there.

Everything, it was Subaru's unknown Merry.

And knowing the secret thoughts behind her breasts without trying, Subaru realizes.

I wonder if this, The Book of the Dead, is truly the art of knowing the true meaning of others, without lies or lies.

――――

I wanted to know, and I just hoped so.

I just wanted to know the real thoughts of Emilia's, Beatrice's, and the people in the tower. Why do they believe in Natsuki Subaru?

Why do they believe in 'Natsuki Subaru' who killed 'Me'?

What thoughts do you have towards Subaru, who is now playing "Natsuki Subaru," a desperate and desperate being to spit on?

My dear is a disguise, hatred is the truth, anger, sadness and joy are the tentative first, isn't it enmity, harmfulness and malice that are the thoughts of the real girlfriends?

I don't know. I want to know. I want to believe it. I don't believe it.

Are the Emilias allies, enemies, enemies who killed Subaru, allies who keep them alive?

Can you love or not? Can you hate or not?

- Can the answer be understood by reading their "Book of the Dead"?

"... Subaru, I knew you weren't feeling well. If you're not comfortable here, maybe you should change places and rest."

Touching Svalbard's shoulder to think about it, Beatrice suggests it that way.

Captured by characteristic, butterfly-like painted blue eyes, Subaru breathed slightly. If you look at it, the little, too small palm of the girl is over Subaru's shoulder.

What would happen if I took this hand, held my head to the full force, and slapped it on the floor?

"Tiny, dude..."

"Mm... what are you suddenly going to say? I wonder if this minimum is why Betty is so adorable. That's what Subaru said."

Subaru is about to unwittingly loosen his cheeks to Beatrice, who speaks with a murky face.

Sure, it's not weird if Subaru is in the mood to say it. There, I feel there are similarities between myself and "Natsuki Subaru," and the grin immediately seems bitter.

Small. Really, Beatrice is small, a child.

Her neck is thin and her bones are soft. What a hand on your shoulder. It's small enough to cover it completely with Subaru's palms, and if you put a little serious effort into it and cuddle it, your whole body is going to crumble.

If you put all your strength into action, it's going to be easy to kill.

- If I kill her, if I lose my life, will her books also show up in the library?

"To me, like I did."

――――

Second, behind the thinking brain, a voice sounded unlikely to belong to Subaru.

Somewhat sweet, glossy enough not to fit your age, but oddly with a 'tamed' voice color. In a very short time, a voice that became so familiar that it felt like my business.

The voice of a dying girl, taken in by herself, mocks Natsuki Subaru's will.

――――

Subaru, however, fails to tackle it and concentrates his consciousness on the matter before him.

That is, is there a way to make use of the Book of the Dead as a realistic measure?

If there is, how do you shape it...

"I wonder if you look pale. I knew we'd change places. Before that......"

"- Ah."

"Maybe I'll just put it back in position. Now you can't go all the way to Betty."

Say, Beatrice takes the Book of the Dead out of Subaru's stiff hands. With cautious hands, when she held the book in so that it would not open, she headed to the bookshelf where the book had originally been stabbed and returned the book to the pompous empty space.

"Positively, could it be easy to understand and remember? However, the book in this library could be moved on its own..."

"Can't it be a safety measure?... That's, yeah, right"

"You should also think that taking it out is pretty dangerous. I don't know if it's hard to stop throwing it on the floor because Shaura cared."

It feels like a one-off library.

Subaru vomits words at such a rate as he exchanges conversations in a thirsty tone.

In fact, even in the world of those who know Subaru, it is often said that the encounter with books that have passed the number of years of publication is a one-off meeting. Books that you may never come across again if you miss an opportunity, such as an old bookstore found on your trip, such thoughts may also be found in this library.

Exactly, is that too much to think about? I'm sure you thought it was just harassment.

Either way, without alarm, Subaru dives deeper into the sea of thought, looking at Beatrice's back, who is distressed to put the book's placement in his head whenever possible.

Severely realistic, he counts his life backwards from the warmth he was touching and explores how to kill a girl.

Beatrice's isn't the only one to think about. Every member in the tower who accompanies them is in a position to be the target of Subaru's Book of the Dead project.

"I can't believe I want to kill you because I want to know if I can trust you or if I should doubt you. My brother would be so distorted. Wow."

Subaru struck his tongue with his heart in the voice of the girl who would make the tea come in.

The first thing I would like to say no to is that this is only a necessary and pressing thought experiment.

Never, Subaru is not a psychopath ruled by a killing urge, nor is he the bearer of a perverse desire to satisfy pleasure with such an act.

However, realistically, when I stuck with rationality, this choice just came to mind first.

'Well, excuse me. Oh, could you explain what you're going to do?

- Beatrice's, it's easy to get rid of.

I can see defenselessness, helplessness, and alertness from the back that makes it look like Subaru right now.

To be clear, Beatrice's life is nothing more than a thin-skinned piece of 'Subaru's Reason' that keeps unreliable balancers from connecting. In some way, that's when reason outweighs reason, Subaru will succeed in taking her life lightly.

As for Beatrice, it seemed possible to ignore countless branches like the branch leaves in front of her all the time, just because she had a choice between doing it or not.

"So, what about the half demon sister?

Easier, easier wins, like Emilia.

Once she had a past that showed no resistance whatsoever, even when she was grabbed by Subaru, who had just woken up. As it were, if Subaru had put all his strength into his arms, he would have easily snapped such a thin neck.

Sure, she had the skill of a professional wrestler, but nothing if you don't let her show it. In an instant, if you strangle him with all your strength.

"Ha-ha-ha, I'm good at that."

-. Lamb, too, is the word that is sharp, but its essence is only a pretty weak girl.

It is remembered when I pressed my forehead in tears and begged Subaru for the certainty of memory. Her arms were thin, her strength weak, and she was a single, shy girl.

Echidna is on the same terms. If you think about it this way, I find it painfully wrong to be a candidate for all the weak girls who have often come to explore things like the end of the desert.

There would have been as many more suitable personnel, but there is also a serious shortage of personnel.

Therefore, there is a gap into Subaru, but the last gate was different.

- Julius.

The only person who is the same man as Subaru and even has a sword in his hand stands up as an obstacle.

He's the only one who can't say it's the right thing to do. - Challenging Emilia is also suicidal when it comes to the condition of setting it up directly in front of you, but that's another story.

Anyway, if we were to move the 'Book of the Dead' plan into action, he would be the biggest wall.

That also means that if you change the way you say it, it is Julius who should be defeated first.

'Given the time we spend searching for books, there's nothing short of time, no matter how much?

As the girl put it, Subaru's purpose is not to "yes, I will kill you".

Rather, it is a crossing point that must be done because it is necessary to kill, and fate lies ahead of it, in the Book of the Dead, which is gained in exchange for death.

To that end, we need to be certain.

I killed him, I failed him, then it won't end. After that, there's a place to go.

"Subaru, for one thing, make the book good with that one. Get away from here... once we get to the Spirit's room. That should calm you down."

"Spirit's, room..."

Svalbard, who is pulled back by Beatrice and risen to a light weight, is heard to be a room with a spirit, and thinks of his restart point.

That place is the Spirit's room, and that place has...

"Patrash......"

"... also the name of that earth dragon. Not at all, a worried and worthless partner. Betty's more worried, but she's not convinced."

"... wah, bad. Nothing, what, uh, nothing else."

For a moment, the figure of a black ground dragon plunders his head and Subaru's lips loosen softly. Beatrice blamed him for that, and Subaru hastily corrected his consciousness.

Nevertheless, even on this occasion, Patrash is the only one Svalbard can place his trust in.

In fact, only Patrash, who ran to defend Subaru with his life in jeopardy, stands by Natsuki Subaru, independent of his true intentions and true intentions -,

"Really? Even if your brother finds out it's not Natsuki Subaru, will he do the trick?"

――――

After all, you don't have your brother's side, do you?

A voice echoing in the back of his brain, pregnant with a grin, mocks Natsuki Subaru.

A different being than Natsuki Subaru, nestled within himself, tries to shatter Subaru's optimism.

Stupid point, I wish I could have laughed that off. But the truth is, Subaru can't afford that. My heart was half in agreement with the girl's words.

Um, even the depressing tenderness of Patrash was directed at 'Natsuki Subaru', and if I found out Subaru was a fake right now, I wondered if he wouldn't even look at me.

"Look, Subaru, I need a hand."

"Oh, oh..."

In his brain, flirting with the girl's voice, Subaru bites his back teeth at unacceptable emotions.

Therefore, the focus was completely out of sight. Beatrice, speaking and offering her hand and trying to hold it together, looks like she realizes something.

That gaze stares around Subaru's wrist - I notice.

"I have scratches. That, too, is so..."

Svalbard's right arm sleeve is wrapped around and Beatrice frowns at the painful nail marks. That, I didn't seem to notice any more deeply decided wounds up there, but just in front is bad enough.

――――

Situationally, Beatrice doesn't know how to kill Mary.

So there shouldn't be an immediate connection between this scratch and Mary. But even if you subtract it, you should be anxious to see what the hell this is all about.

If Mary's body is found on this, it is inevitable that suspicion will be turned against her.

――――

An unprepared heart starts ringing like an early bell.

In front of her eyes, Beatrice is dropping her eyes on Subaru's hand and has not noticed this look. Now I can control Beatrice with a little action.

What are you going to do? Are we going to get started, too?

My voice is urging Subaru to make a decision, as I am tempted to do so.

Hardly, I feel my temples ache around my blood, matching my pulsating heart.

As it is, depending on Beatrice's continued remarks, I would like her to-,

"- It's like I scratched my own arm again. Bad habit."

"... huh?

"This position is not good. If Emilia finds me, she'll know what to worry about. Betty can't even spill her eyes when it looks too bad."

Beatrice lays her eyes down in pain, looking at Subaru's wrist wound with her finger.

To her statement like that, Subaru couldn't move after savoring an unexpected shock.

Beatrice behaves like she's used to seeing Subaru's arm scratches.

That, too, is for a completely different and more different reason than any other circumstance, assuming Subaru will be noticed - self-injured, with a scratch on his arm, without confusion.

Even though Emilia told me she was hiding it, it was a shock.

"With the Spirit, could this wound be healed if we went to that room? Still, I can't watch, so I'm just gonna fix it for a little bit."

Saying, Beatrice envelops Subaru's wrist wound in a pale light.

What a stiff sensation brings is warm, perhaps healing pain. Healing magic, it is shown with these eyes.

――――

At the same time, inside Subaru, hostility towards Beatrice spreads rapidly.

Along with this warmth, along with the wound on his wrist, as if the humanity of Natsuki Subaru, which was cracking, had undergone definite repairs.

"Boring."

That, behind Subaru's brain, I could hear a girl spilling in a voice like she missed the guess.

Listening directly to it in his skull, Subaru swallows the evil environment in which he falls.

Sure, it's an option. But there's just a choice.

Nothing needs to take the lead and guide itself in the direction of wanting the Book of the Dead.

Not to mention in a situation like this, where nothing is in place.

――――

It is not a good idea to harm Beatrice on this occasion.

Not yet, not ready. Even if the worst means are to be exercised, they must be fully prepared.

And for that, now, this is the place to...

"Come on, Subaru. Betty will tell everyone later."

"- Okay. Sorry to bother you, Beatrice."

"I won't tell you that. Promise me."

And, to the care of the girl in front of me, Natsuki Subaru thought, even if he didn't know if it meant it.

One, this is for the record, I have these words.

- "Murder becomes a habit".

That is one of the words left in the world by the famous detective, Erqueur Poirot.

- "Murder becomes a habit".

The meaning of the word does not mean that the person who killed a person will wake up to the preference of murder and repeat the offense in order to satisfy his own desires.

- "Murder becomes a habit".

For once, what we tried to solve by murder means that if the next problem occurs, we still think about breaking the situation by murder in the same way.

- "Murder becomes a habit".

I've already mishung something, the first important thing, at a time when I'm thinking of murder that doesn't need to be done, as one of my options.

- "Murder becomes a habit".

In fact, even if there was not a single murder committed of its own free will, even if it was averse to its actions, and if it glimpses the memory of the party harmed by its actions, the habit cannot be escaped.

- "Murder becomes a habit".

Habits don't fall out.

- "Murder becomes a habit".